Christmas Goodies

Every year for the past four years, I’ve made an assortment of Christmas treats, packaged them in cute bags or boxes, and delivered them to unexpecting friends around town. For three of those years, I had help from three different friends (the first year was three of us, then two of us, then just me, then two). The reason I started doing this is that I LOVE to bake, and I love surprising people with a little act of kindness. I love seeing their faces when they open the door and see someone standing there with a box of homemade goodies just for them. I love brightening people’s days, and this is just a fun way to do it. This year, I planned to make my jar cakes. Every time I’ve made these for people, they have absolutely loved them, so I thought this would be a fun way to tweak my annual tradition, straying away from the usual cookies and candies. However, this year I decided I wasn’t going to do anything. Many might think that is because of COVID, however the current pandemic had no effect on my decisions.

Making these goody bags or boxes takes a ton of time and effort. I usually spend about two full days making and packaging everything. The cost is usually about $60 total for ingredients and packaging supplies. Usually, I make three different kinds of cookies, pretzel wreaths, toffee, and almond bark pretzels. Sometimes I add other things, depending on what I’m feeling that particular year. I then drive all over town for about 1-2 hours to deliver the boxes of treats, making about 15 stops. Every year I’ve done this, the weather and roads have not been optimal conditions. But what made me decide to stop doing this wasn’t the time or the effort. It wasn’t the money, although that is extra tight for me this year, and it certainly wasn’t the driving conditions. What made me decide to stop this year is the sheer unappreciativeness I received last year.  

Things I heard last year while delivering goodies or in the week after include “Thanks for the treats. Now you can leave,” “I ate one kind of cookie and threw the rest away,” and “The sugar cookie on top was hard, so they all went in the garbage.” The fact that people can be so utterly ungrateful sickens me. When someone goes completely out of their way to do something nice for you, the last thing you should be is cruel. Those things made me feel awful and hurt last year, and I decided I am not going to subject myself to it again.

I’m not writing this to make you feel sorry for me. I’m writing this because I want others to be aware that the things they say in response to gifts, no matter the content of the gift itself, matters. Don’t tell people something they gave you was useless or that you threw it away. If you really don’t like something you’re given as a gift, LIE! Or just say “That was a really nice gesture,” or “That was so thoughtful of you.” Don’t make people bad for delivering you a gift and tell them to “get out” or “leave.” They are going out of their way to do something nice for you- not trying to impose on you. If you truly want to get rid of the person, just say “Thank you so much for this, but it’s not a great time,” or “This is so nice of you, let’s catch up later this week.” The key here is to just be polite.

For many, myself included, Christmas is a hard time of year. Money becomes an even bigger issue than usual for most. People are super busy and others feel stings of loss and loneliness more than ever. So, when someone goes out of their way to do something nice for you, be kind. Be grateful and appreciative. Don’t be rude or cruel. This year has been especially hard for a lot of people for many different reasons, so be a little kinder than usual this holiday season. Keep the snarkiness out of your thank yous and appreciate the people who go out of their way to show you they care.


It’s been awhile since I’ve written, and even the last few posts I have written have fallen a bit short. The reason for that is something I have a feeling many of us are currently experiencing. It’s no secret that very few have made it this far into the pandemic without feeling a loss. Maybe you lost your job and have yet to find a new one. Maybe you are going stir crazy from working from home. Maybe you have been worked to the bone since this whole thing started and are forgetting what it’s like to not be exhausted. Maybe all your summer plans got cancelled and your major events ruined. Maybe you’ve lost someone sooner than you ever expected, and every time you think about them, you get an ache in your chest that takes your breath away. Maybe it’s been so long since you’ve seen your friends and family that it hurts to think about when you might see them again. Maybe your mental health is the worst it’s ever been, and you don’t have the motivation to do anything anymore. Maybe you’re just plain tired. I have decided to call all these feelings; the feelings of hopelessness, exhaustion, and longing the COVID-Coma. The overwhelming desire to do something, but the energy to do absolutely nothing.

My COVID-Coma has included spending 90% of my time sitting in my apartment alone. I’ve been working from home since mid-March, have had a string of health problems with a cause that remains unknown, worsening depression and anxiety, and an extreme lack of motivation and inspiration. So, I haven’t been writing, or much of anything else. But I realized, yesterday, that I desperately need to pull myself out of my COVID-Coma. I’m going to guess that most of you are in the same boat. So how do we pull ourselves together when there is no end to this pandemic in sight? How do we keep going when life as we knew it is starting to feel like it’s gone for good? I wish I had the answers, but I’m still figuring it out.

I’m starting by finding a semblance of a routine and doing the things I used to. Things like putting on makeup for work, even when I’m not leaving the house. Cooking the healthy foods I love that I’ve been neglecting. Going to the gym and getting a workout in. Shutting off the T.V. and putting my phone down (if your situation is anything like mine, you are so sick of watching Netflix and staring at your phone, you could puke). All of these are great things to do to pull me out of my COVID-Coma, but I think the number one thing we all need to do is stop using Corona as an excuse.

Living through this pandemic has been HELL, but it cannot be the reason we let our lives crumble around us. COVID isn’t forcing us to sit on the couch with a big of chips for dinner. We are choosing to do it ourselves. Stop letting COVID run your life and be your excuse. Cook a decent meal. Take a drive or a walk. Read a book. Whatever you enjoy that you have stopped doing. I know it is especially difficult when it feels like there is hate all around us, but COVID isn’t an excuse for that either. A global pandemic is not a good enough excuse to be cruel to others. I’ve said it a hundred times, and I’m saying it again. Just because life is brutal, doesn’t mean we have to be. Just because people are spreading hate and fear, doesn’t mean you can’t spread love and kindness. Now, more than ever, we need to be kind to each other, or we will never make it out of our COVID-Comas. I challenge you to do one thing this week you’ve been avoiding, or one thing you stopped doing during this pandemic that you used to enjoy, but also to do something kind. Sometimes this world knocks us down and tears us apart, but we have a choice to pull ourselves up and put the pieces back together. I don’t just want to get out of my COVID-Coma- I NEED to. And I am going to start by no longer using COVID as an excuse and figuring out how to put my life back together. I hope you do too. And if you feel like you can’t or you just aren’t ready, at least be kind to others. I think, more than anything, we could all use a little kindness.

10 Cooking Tips I Live By

Cooking is something I have always enjoyed; however, it does not come easy to everyone. I learned to cook by spending a lot of time in the kitchen with my mom, who was no stranger to spices and flavor. I love to play with different flavors and create new dishes from scratch. I like to take a recipe and doctor it until it’s mine. I’ve been cooking for so long, I can make a meal out of just about anything. In fact, I make some pretty awesome dishes by using the things in my fridge that are about to expire.

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*An amazing sauce I made one night by combining three of my original sauce recipes

I’m sure all of us know not everyone can cook. The way I see it, there are four types of cooks. Those who can cook really well, those who think they can cook really well, those who believe they can’t cook, and those who don’t even try to cook. To me, the main difference between those who can cook and those who think they can cook is whether or not their food is bland. We’ve all the seen the memes surrounding people who only have salt and pepper in their spice cabinet.

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*If you don’t get what’s wrong with this picture, then you are one of those who thinks they can cook

For those of you who are struggling to cook, who want to expand your cooking knowledge, and who can cook, but need a little help, here are my 10 cooking tips, tricks, and rules to making bomb ass food.

Salt and pepper are NOT seasonings. Yes, technically they are, but what I mean by that is that they are not something you should solely rely on. If the only seasonings you ever use is salt and pepper, you need to do some spice shopping. If you’re following a recipe, and the only seasonings are salt and pepper, add more. The number one reason food is bland is because people don’t use anything to season their food.


Garlic powder and/or onion powder are great for when you feel like a dish needs salt. It also adds more flavor than just plain salt does. When I feel that what I’m cooking needs more salt, I add onion or garlic powder first. I’m not saying you can’t ever add salt, but you may want to try one of these alternatives first; you don’t want your dish to be overwhelmingly salty.

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While we are on the subject of good and bad spices, STOP USING GARLIC SALT. I have never bought garlic salt, and I have never missed it. If a dish needs garlic, I add fresh garlic or garlic powder. If a dish needs salt, well we already covered that. If you have garlic salt, throw it away! I promise you, you will not miss it. Nothing tastes more artificial to me than garlic salt. Get rid of it; you can thank me later.

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Want to get some spices, but aren’t sure where to start? First off, don’t buy spice racks that come with a ton of spices; you won’t use most of them. You are better off buying your own and focusing on flavors you like. If you aren’t sure where to start, try to get a few things that are salty, earthy, and spicy. For salty, garlic powder and onion powder are great starters. When I say earthy, I’m talking about herbs. They come in a wide range, so you may have to experiment a little. Italian seasoning is a good go to. Basil and sage are two of my staples. Oregano is great for spaghetti sauce and dill is fantastic with potatoes. When I want some spice, I use red paper flakes, paprika, or cayenne. Go easy with cayenne if you haven’t cooked with it a lot; a pinch can go a long way. It’s also not a bad idea to have some Cajun seasoning blend on hand. Other great things to have on hand is cinnamon, nutmeg, cumin, and ginger.


Play with your spices. Experiment with different combinations to see what flavors you like together and which ones you don’t. I know that most people have thyme in their cabinet, but I don’t like it. I love paprika, but I know others who can’t stand it. Start small; add just a pinch of this and tiny bit of that. You can always add more if you want.


Sugar is a great way to balance bitterness. I use this trick mostly for tomato sauces, especially for spaghetti. I’m not a fan of jarred spaghetti sauce, so I usually make my own using a can of tomato sauce and adding seasonings. The problem with this is that tomato sauce can be incredibly bitter, so I add a little sugar to combat this. Just adding a spoonful of sugar to a bitter dish can make a world of difference.


Buy fresh whenever you can. Fresh garlic tastes better than garlic powder. Fresh parsley is way more flavorful than dried. Fresh chicken is juicer than frozen. Fresh green beans are phenomenal compared to canned ones. The list goes on and on. When its within your ability, buy fresh ingredients. It will make your food taste a million times better.


Coconut oil makes veggies and meat taste amazing. I don’t love the taste of olive oil, but I don’t like to use too much butter when I cook. The solution? Coconut oil! Coconut oil can give the buttery taste so many of us love without the fat butter adds. Every time a recipe calls for olive oil, I use coconut instead. It adds a better flavor, and when it comes to chicken, it keeps it nice and juicy. The key is to find a brand that doesn’t taste too coconutty.


*This is the brand I use

If you need to thicken a sauce, you can use a roux. They are super easy to make; just take equal parts butter and flour (I usually start with 2 tbls of each). Melt the butter and stir in the flour, and bam! You have a perfect thickening agent. I also use this when I need cream, but all I have is milk. I just make a roux and then stir in the milk to thicken it to a consistency closer to cream. Knowing how to make a roux is a skill that has come in handy more times than you would think.


*This is what your roux should look like

Recipes are a guide, not an instruction manual. Have you ever made a recipe that sounded absolutely amazing only to have it end up being just… blah? This is when all that spice experimenting can come in handy. Take a recipe, and make it your own! Add flavors you know you like, make it a little spicy, add more than a teaspoon of salt- whatever you like! My main rule is when the recipe is at the bottom of a blog post (which we all know is the most annoying thing in the world- I just want the recipe, Susan, I don’t care about how crazy your week was) is if the post uses the words hubby and/or kiddos, add A LOT more seasoning. Second rule? If the only seasonings the recipe calls for is salt, pepper, and garlic powder, add A LOT more seasoning. I use recipes as a starting guide and then jazz them up to make them my own, which almost always ends up tasting way better.

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*I promise you; it will need more than three ingredients 


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*If your meat looks anything like this, throw it away and try again!

Everyone can learn how to cook, you just have to know a few basics. Start with one meal and tweak it until it’s perfect. If you know someone who makes really bland food, suggest some flavor. Just have fun with it! You will be amazed by what comes out of your kitchen!

Why Best Friends are Better than Boyfriends

Growing up, I never really understood the concept of a best friend. This dynamic filled books, movies, and T.V. shows, but it was never something I experienced in the real world. I had friends I was very close to and did consider my best friend, but I often found myself needing space from them. I never knew what it was like to have someone I could tell anything to without fear of being judged or scolded. What it was like to have someone I didn’t worry was bashing me whenever I wasn’t around. Someone who didn’t get on my nerves and drive me up a wall. I have many friends that I love dearly, but I didn’t really know what a best friend was until recently.

While I was in the worst relationship of my life, I become quite close with that guy’s roommate. He seemed to be the only one that had an ounce of understanding of what I was going through and didn’t constantly put me down when it came to the mess I was in. He seemed to understand the dark side of the guy I was with, because he saw it to. He was honest and sometimes harsh, but he didn’t roll his eyes every time I brought it up. He wasn’t supportive to my face and then go and bash me behind my back like so many people did at that time. When I look back now, the friendship I developed with the guy I know refer to as my twin was worth every minute of pain and grief I endured at the hands of my ex. This guy also happened to have a girlfriend of his own; a girl I thought despised me for a long time. I was so intimidated by her; I could barely look her in the eye. I was also extremely jealous of her, because she just seemed so perfect. She was unbelievably pretty and everyone just seemed to love her and/or want to get to know her. She constantly had people coming up to talk to her and no one had a bad thing to say about her. I wondered what it was like to have a life like that; a life where everyone just seems to fawn over you.

As we got to know each other, I learned that her life wasn’t as perfect as I thought it was. We began to grow closer, spending more and more time together. She lived an hour away, and when she visited on the weekends, we would always find something fun to do. We opened up to each other about our insecurities, our struggles, and whatever else was on our minds. Then, last fall she moved in with her boyfriend in the town I live in. Since then, we’ve hung out almost every day. We cook dinner together and for each other, we surprise each other with coffee, we get way too drunk together, and we cry over This Is Us together. In all this time, we haven’t fought. I haven’t felt like I need a break from her. She doesn’t really get on my nerves and I’ve never felt judged or shamed by her. Lately, I’ve started to feel like this is the friendship I’ve been missing out on. This is what all those books, movies, and T.V. shows mean by best friend. So, know that I’ve indulged in an insanely long intro, here are the reasons why a best friend is better than a boyfriend.

  1. They know your coffee order. In fact, they know your order at every coffee shop. They know what you like at Starbucks vs what you like at Caribou. They know how many flavor shots you require at each place and if you want it hot or cold. I know when we roll up to Caribou together, she will get a large iced crafted press with two shots of vanilla, but at Starbucks, she prefers a large vanilla cold brew with sweet cream. She knows that I brew a light roast at home and drink it with half and half and chocolate almond milk. You never actually have to type out your coffee order to them because they already know exactly what you want.


  1. Speaking of drinks, they also know what kind of alcohol you prefer. They know what cocktails you’ll drink and what beer you like. They know what types of alcohol are off limits, which ones will make you sick, and which ones give you the worst hangovers. I know she doesn’t like vodka, because it makes her stomach hurt. She knows I don’t mix alcohol with cream, because I will most likely instantly throw up. I know she likes her beer with olives, and she knows I prefer mine with pickles. And of course, we both love Malibu with Coke (hers diet, mine regular). They can go up to bar and order you your favorite drink based on how drunk you want to get. They know what shots you’ll take straight and which ones you won’t touch. They also know what to expect from you the next morning.


  1. In fact, they know your favorite everything. All the way from your favorite kind of chips to your favorite pair of jeans. They know what you dip your fries in and what brand of shampoo you use. I know she likes vanilla soft serve cones and puts ranch on EVERYTHING. She knows I like Doritos with cheese and Game of Thrones. In fact, they probably know more of your favorites than you do. They even know your guiltiest guilty pleasures, but they don’t judge too harshly.

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  1. They will be honest when it comes to your fashion sense. You never have to worry about them lying to you, because they will always tell you like it is. They’ll tell you if your hair looks questionable or if the outfit you have on isn’t the most flattering. They’ll help you get rid of the things that you don’t have the heart to throw away, like your crimper. I know she prefers her jeans tight and likes to wear yellow. She knows I look awful in pale pink and prefer my hair up. We have the same taste in shoes and makeup, and we both hate anything velvet. They are the best to go shopping with, because you can always count on an honest opinion that is given without sounding harsh.


  1. They know your emotions better than you do sometimes. They can usually tell exactly what mood you’re in just by looking at your face. Sometimes you don’t even realize that you’re feeling sad until they point it out. They also know what habits you tend to fall into based on how you feel. I know she eats when she’s stressed or bored (as do I) and she knows I get more restless than usual when I’m anxious. You know when to sit in silence and when to offer reassurance. They know when to be serious and when to crack some comic relief. Sometimes you don’t even know why you’re mad or sad or even what you need until they tell you. 

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After my toxic relationship fell apart, I spent three years rebuilding the self-esteem he had destroyed. When I finally felt like I was ready to try again, I ended up seeing someone whose treatment of me started to remind of him. After that, I started seeing someone who decided I wasn’t even worth breaking up with. All of that evidence has led to me to the conclusion that boyfriends aren’t worth the trouble and I will stick with my best friend instead.

The Salutatorian Speech I Never Got to Give

Over the past few weeks of being quarantined in my apartment, I have noticed that I keep being disturbed by memories of grade school. Most of these memories are things I thought were long since buried and forgotten, but now they seem to want to surface and remind me of how much I hated middle and high school because of my classmates. I remembered the time I tried to throw an end of the year cookout and invited the whole class, only to have no one show up. (I later found out there was a different party that I wasn’t invited to). I remembered the time I sat in my AP Government class as a junior and the other nine people in the class moved to the other side of the room, forcing me to be on a jeopardy team by myself.

But then I think about my little brother, whose senior year has been cut off due to this virus, and I can’t help but wonder which senior year I would rather live out. I spent majority of my graduation ceremony waiting for it to be over and feeling angry that I didn’t get to give a speech, but is that better than not having one at all? It’s a question that I just don’t have the answer to. One of my biggest disappointments in high school was being salutatorian. I was predicted to be valedictorian from the time I was in elementary school. I worked hard for this honor only to see it come crashing down my junior year, when I received an A- in AP Literature. When I finally made my peace with the fact that I would be ranked number two in the class rather than number one, my principal enlightened me that I would not get to give a speech during the graduation ceremony. Traditionally, the valedictorian and the salutatorian give speeches during the ceremony, but because my class had two valedictorians, I wouldn’t get a chance to speak. This was devastating for me. I had spent four years working my ass off, just to have it amount to nothing in the end. I never told anyone how much it hurt to not get to speak. How I had been looking forward to doing so all year. That I had already written a speech.

I have never told anyone about the speech I had written for my graduation ceremony. I don’t know why I kept it a secret; maybe it was because I was so ashamed that I would never get to read it to my class because I was second best. I had spent my entire life up to that point feeling like I didn’t belong, and not getting to give my speech just seemed to solidify that feeling. So I never told anybody about it. I emailed it to myself, moved into a private folder, and that’s where it has sat ever since. Until now.

I’m not sure what inspired me to finally share this speech. Maybe it’s realizing that even though I didn’t like high school, at least I got to finish out my senior year with some happy memories. Maybe it’s seeing the class of 2020 having the moment they’ve spent their entire lives working towards- that walk across the stage to receive their diploma- being ripped away. Or maybe some deep, hidden part of me feels that it’s time. Whatever the reason may be, I want to share with you all the salutatorian speech I never got to give.

As much as I wish I could stand up here and reminisce with all of you about how great the last four years have been, lying is just not in my nature. This may come as a shock to some of you, but high school is not something I feel I will look back on fondly. I have spent majority of the past four years waiting for high school to be over. I have contemplated my own suicide more times than I can count. I have told myself over and over again that things will get better; I just have to get through this. Many times, it felt as though we were sorted into the “in group” and the “out group” back in first grade, and have been forced to carry those labels ever since. I, like many of you, was sorted into the out group. Because of that, my speech is not for those who will look back on our time together and cherish all the great memories they made. Instead, my speech is for those, who like me, have spent the last four years counting down the days when they could finally bust out of out here. My speech is for the students who never got to find out what they were capable of, because they spent their entire academic career being overlooked and ignored. My speech is for the people who worked hard and pushed themselves to their limits, but never received any real credit. My speech is for the outcasts.

I want you all know that this doesn’t have to be your entire story. What you were labeled in the past does not have to be your label for the future. Outside of these walls, no one is going to care whether you were “in” or “out.” We spend so much of our lives thinking and being told that what we do in high school paves our way for the rest of our lives, but the secret they don’t tell you is that it does not need to. You have the opportunity to change your story; to make it into whatever you want. From now on, no one is going to force you into the shadows unless you let them, because the truth is, no one cares who you were in high school. And there will be more ways to prove your worth than popularity status. If you become a doctor, a hospital isn’t going to care how many friends you had, they’re too concerned with whether or not you know how to properly stitch a wound. Construction companies (which are just as vital as hospitals) aren’t going to be impressed by where you sat at lunch, but they will be impressed by the Class A license in your wallet. If you apply for a teaching job, that school isn’t going to be concerned with whether or not you were on the homecoming court; they’re going to be concerned by your qualifications and your abilities. If you didn’t like who you were in high school, this is your chance to change.

I’m not saying that the experiences we had in the last four years don’t matter, because they do. They can and they will influence decisions we make from here on out. But that doesn’t mean they have to define us. Just because you slacked off in high school doesn’t mean you have to slack off for the rest of your life. Just because you didn’t have many friends doesn’t mean you won’t make tons of connections a year from now. Just because you felt like you didn’t fit in here doesn’t mean you won’t fit anywhere. High school made guide us, but it does not define us. If the people here didn’t recognize your worth or your value, then that’s on them. Because they missed out on what may have been a life changing friendship or an astounding student, and that’s their loss, so move on.

My advice for each and every one of you here, especially the ones who were cast out of the spotlight, is to be better. Be better than who you were. If in five, ten, or twenty years, you can look back on yourself in this moment and confidently say that you are a better person today than you were yesterday, then you’ve been successful. You can decide if these four years define your life or if they were just stepping stones on your path to greatness. You can choose if this is who you want to be for the remainder of your time here, or you can choose to be better. Take risks, force yourself into the spotlight, show kindness to strangers, travel the world- do whatever you need to do to be a better person. And when you do look back on those four years, instead of being angry and bitter, remind yourself that you got through it, even though you were in the “out” group. That despite every setback, you made it to the end of high school. Remember that you walked into this gym with your head held high, even if it was just to keep your cap from slipping off. Remember that right here, in this moment, it’s impossible to tell the “in group” from the “out group.” This proves that we all have the power to be more than what other people say we are. We have the ability to change the narrative that has been written about us. We are all capable of being better. A teacher we all know once asked “Why are we here?” And maybe the answer is as simple as “To be better.” To be better than who we are and better than who others thought we were. I don’t know about the rest of you, but I know that I have to be better than an unruly outcast who is filled with anxiety and bitterness. So, Mr. Hentges, that’s my answer. I’m here to be better. I know I can be kinder. I know I can be more understanding. I know I can be better than who I am now. What about the rest of you?

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Things to Do After an Awful Week

We all have times where life just seems to be kicking us while we’re down. Sometimes it’s a day, sometimes a week. Sometimes it feels like it’s dragging on forever and life will just never stop sucking, and you’ll be doomed to live in this state of shit for the rest of your days. In the past few weeks, it has felt like I simply cannot get a win. I’ve been like I can’t do anything right and that my entire life is doomed to be worthless. In the past week alone, I’ve broken down at work… twice, got bad news concerning my family, have attempted to figure out why my body feels as though it hates me just to have the doctor run one blood test, come up with nothing, and then tell me there’s nothing else for them to do, and I’m not 100% positive, but I’m pretty sure I got dumped. This week has been nothing short of shit, but thankfully I’ve had the weekend to recuperate. This has given me a lot of time to consider the best things to do after an utterly crap week.


Watch a romantic comedy… or three

There’s no shame in binge watching your favorite rom-com or finding one that you’ve been meaning to watch forever. I’m writing this as I’m on the second Bridget Jones movie, and I cannot believe I have gone my whole life without seeing these movies.

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Take a hot bath or shower… or both

There is a nothing that a hot bath and/or shower can’t temporarily cure.

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Watch a horror movie

I love watching a horror movie when I’ve been having a rough time with life, because it reminds me that no matter how bad my life is going, at least it’s going better than the poor suckers in the movie. I may have had a crap week, but at least I’m not tied up in some crazy woman’s basement (bonus points if you can name that movie).

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Get some ice cream

Because honestly, you probably deserve it!

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Clean up

If you’re anything like me, your home probably reflects the tough week you’ve had. Just putting everything away, doing some dishes, and running a vacuum through my living room makes me feel a million times better. Plus, you actually accomplish something!

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Get drunk… like really drunk

Full disclosure- I didn’t actually do this this past weekend, but believe me when I say I tried. However, I can confirm that I am typing this whilst drinking a beer.

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Make a really good meal

Just because life isn’t going your way, doesn’t mean you can’t eat delicious food. Make yourself your favorite comfort meal and eat it until you’re so full, you couldn’t possibly eat another bite. If you don’t feel like cooking or can’t cook so well, treat yourself and go out to eat at your favorite restaurant.

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Hang out with your best friend

Even if you just sit around watching trashy T.V. about spoiled, rich girls spending thousands on wedding dresses, just spending time with your bestie can make you feel a million times better.


Write a semi-shit blog post

Exhibit A can be found above.

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The past week or two or five may not have been great, but at least my weekend wasn’t too craptastic. Luckily, there’s no rule that says next week can’t be absolutely fabulous! Keep working your perfectly imperfectly selves, and I’ll keep working on mine.


Being Safe While Living Alone

I’ve been living alone for almost a year now, and although I’ve mostly enjoyed it, I have also learned to take some precautions. While living alone can be very refreshing, it does come with some risks. I often think about how I could go missing or have some sort of accident at home, and it would probably take days for someone to notice. Over the past year, I have learned a few tricks that make me feel a little more relaxed and a lot more secure about living by myself. These things aren’t necessarily just for those who live alone, because I think pretty much anyone could benefit from them, but I do think they can help those who are living by themselves feel a little safer about their living situation.

Before I launch into that, I want to give a little background on the things that are going to make this list, for the lack of a better word, biased. Many of the tips I have looked up online involve having the locks changed, installing a chain lock, and investing in a security system. I rent an apartment, and all of those things are not an option. The locks are not changed every time someone new moves in, I am not allowed to install any sort of lock, especially one that only locks on the inside, and I am not allowed to install my own security system. Therefore, a good portion of the recommended tips are not possible for me and aren’t possible for a lot of people. If you are able to do these things, that’s great! But I will not be including them in my list for the above reasons. With that said, here is my list of tips for living alone.

If you have sliding doors or large sliding windows, put a board in the bottom track. Just about any department store sells some type of board, so all you need is one close to the length of the track. It doesn’t need to fit exactly; just make sure when the door or window meets the board, the gap isn’t wide enough for someone to fit through. You can also use old broom handles, thick dowels, or anything else that is hard enough to withstand someone pushing the door or window against it. Patio doors are actually quite easy to break into and everyone knows windows aren’t the most secure (especially cheap apartment ones), so the board is an added security measure that makes it a lot harder to break in.

If you rent, get to know your landlord and keep them in the loop. If I’m going out of town for a week or longer, I let my landlord know. This way, she has a heads up that my apartment is supposed to be empty and she keeps an extra eye on it. I also keep my landlord in the loop with major things going on in my life. For example, I let her know when my job changed and what my work hours would look like. This way, I have another person who can look out for me and could potentially notice if something seems off. I have also worked very hard to get on her good side and earn her trust, so if there is an issue with the apartment or with someone who lives in the complex, I know she will listen to me and take my concerns seriously.

Make friends with your mailman. If something does happen to you, your mailman may be one of the first to notice that something is wrong. If you suddenly go weeks without getting your mail or there has been a package sitting outside your door for a few days, chances are the mailman will notice. I’ve lived in the same apartment complex for the past four years, and I’ve gotten to know my mailman quite well in that time. When my roommate and I would be gone for summer break, the mailman would notice that we hadn’t been getting our mail and would double check with our landlord, just to make sure there wasn’t a bigger issue. This is also where keeping your landlord in the loop comes in handy. Go introduce yourself to your mailman and get to know them. Say hi to them whenever you see them and be friendly. A little kindness can go a long way, and it’s always a good idea to have an extra person looking out for you.

Tell your friends when you are meeting someone new or going out alone. When you don’t have a roommate to make sure you make it home safely from a date or a night of drinking, it’s a good idea to let your friends in on your whereabouts (I also allow some of my closer friends to see my location on their Snap-maps). If I let my friends know I’m planning to go out alone, they can keep an eye on me to make sure I’m safe or check in with me. If I ever went on a date (maybe someday), I’ll let them know who I’m going with, where we are going, and when I get home. Again, it’s always important to keep people in the loop, especially when you live alone. When I’m out with my friends, I let them know when I make it home, so that they know I made it there safely.

Lock your door when you’re not able to keep an eye on it. I know most people lock their doors when they go to sleep, but it’s also a good idea to lock your door whenever you’re not around it. I lock my door when I have music cranked up or when I’m not really paying attention, when I’m taking a shower or bath, or when I’m lying in bed. Anytime I can’t keep an eye on who might be coming into my apartment, especially when I’m not expecting anyone, I keep my door locked.

Keep your phone in the same room as you. I know most people almost always have their phones on them, but there are times when you go to take a shower and maybe leave your phone to charge in your bedroom, or something similar to that. If you live alone, keep your phone near you. If you have your phone in the bathroom and fall in the shower, you don’t have very far to go to call for help. If someone happens to break in while you’re inside your apartment (which does happen, believe me), you don’t have to go hunting for your phone if you have it with you. You don’t need to have it glued to your side, but it’s a good idea to at least keep your phone in the same room as you.

Give a spare key to a friend, preferably one that lives in the same town/ area. This is so much safer than a hide-a-key, because this way your spare is actually with someone, so there’s less of a chance of a stranger finding it and using it. If you give a spare to a trusted friend, if an emergency situation arises, you don’t have to either figure out how to get them a key or explain where the spare is. I’ve had to leave town for an emergency, and needed someone to feed my dog. It’s so much easier to coordinate this when someone I trust already has a spare key. I feel safer knowing someone has my spare key rather than having it sit under a flowerpot. I also keep a second spare in my house, just in case I need to give it to someone different for whatever reason.

Save your local police department’s non-emergency number in your phone. This is something I never thought I would need until I did. I’ve called this number for a variety of reasons, and it’s paid off every time. 911 is great, but it can take forever to get connected to your local law enforcement; this way, if I need to reach the local police department, I have the number for their specific office. In all the time I’ve lived in this complex, I’ve never needed to call 911 (thankfully), but, as I said, I have used the non-emergency number for a variety of reasons (usually intense fights in my parking lot). Look up the number for your local law enforcement and save it. If you never use it, no harm done, but if the time does come that you need it, you’ll be glad you didn’t need to spend the time looking it up.

Keep a hidden cash stash. Keep a stack of around $100-$200 of cash hidden somewhere only you know. If your apartment ever gets broken into, or if your wallet ever gets stolen or lost, you have access to some money. I once had fraudulent activity on my debit card and my credit card in the same week. Both accounts were frozen because of this, so I had no access to my money. Thankfully, I had some cash on me, but since then, I’ve made sure to keep a secret stash, just in case.

Get renter’s insurance. It’s usually not that expensive- I have mine added to my car insurance and it’s only $6 a month. You never know when you might need it. When my apartment was broken into a few years ago, I didn’t have it and it sucked! I have it now, and while I hope I never need it, I know I’ll be happy to have it if I ever need it again. Most landlords and rental companies only have insurance for damage to their property, so renter’s insurance helps protect yours.

If possible, get a pet. Not only do pets serve as great companions, but they can also add an extra layer of protection. My dog may be a giant baby, but a random person doesn’t know that. He’s big and has a deep, intimidating bark, and he will charge at strangers in the house if I’m not around. When someone attempted to break into my apartment a few months ago and again last week, I’m convinced that it was my dog’s loud bark that scared them away. I also am pretty positive that if I had had my dog when my apartment did get broken into, he would have heard them come in and would have alerted me that someone was inside and probably would have also scared them away. I know some places don’t allow pets, but if they do, it’s not a bad idea to get one. They are great for loneliness too! There’s no way I could live alone if I didn’t have my dog.

As much as we like to think bad things and accidents don’t happen to us, the fact is that they do. My two roommates and I were all home, sleeping when our apartment was broken into. In the year I’ve alone, I’ve had two break in attempts (that I know of). Bad things happen, and no one is immune to them. It’s always better to be safe now than sorry later, because there is no way to know when bad things or accidents might happen. Do what you need to do to protect yourself, and stay safe.

Amazing Things Our Bodies Do

If you’ve read some of my past posts, you’ve probably noticed I write a lot about how we all need to accept ourselves and how we should never stop working on improving ourselves. Loving yourself is a constant struggle for most, myself included, and it can be exhausting when you feel like you are constantly at war with yourself. I’ve written posts about my flaws, the things I hate most about myself, and the things I love. I’ve posted about my quirks, my mishaps, and my mental health. I’ve written multiple times about my boobs and the struggles and insecurities I’ve faced because of them. It’s no secret that for me, and for most people, loving yourself is really hard, and more often than not, we struggle the most with accepting our physical selves. If you’re like me, you’ve probably sat in front of a mirror on multiple occasions, and torn your reflection to shreds. You take inventory of everything you hate about yourself and all the things you wish you could change. Maybe you avoid the mirror all together. The worst part of this is that it will probably never end; some days you’ll love yourself completely and then the next, you’ll find a hundred different reasons to hate your body. It’s an ongoing battle that can be so draining that sometimes we just don’t have the energy to fight back. On days that I’m too tired to come up with anything that I like about my physical body, I’ve found that it helps me to instead think of all the amazing things my body can do.

While I understand there are thousands of physical illnesses that cause your body to work against you, I still believe that, for the most part, your body is on your side. Your body fights like hell, sometimes even against your own mind, to keep you alive. No matter how many people turn their back on you and abandon you, your body will never desert you. When it feels like the world is against you, your body is on your side and wants what’s best for you. While you may be unhappy with how you look, here are some amazing things the human body does for us.


It stops us from bleeding

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When we bleed, our bodies respond by stopping it. When a cut opens up, our blood cells rush to the site and give a sort of group hug to stop anymore blood from escaping. The coolest part is that it’s only the beginning of the healing process. Think about how much work your body has to do for this. It has to recognize that it’s losing blood, figure out where this is happening, and then signal the blood cells to move into formation. The blood cells then rush to the site and squeeze together to get the bleeding to stop. No matter how many times we cut ourselves, whether it’s an accident or not, our bodies will work to stop the bleeding.

The skin heals itself

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Have you ever stopped to think about how unbelievably awesome this is? If wood splits or plastic cracks or paper tears, that’s it; they cannot fix these issues all on their own. Skin can. When we peel off the top layer of skin, it grows back. When we get a cut or a scratch, the skin grows to close the gap. No matter how much you hate the way your skin looks, it will still work to heal itself. If you self-injure, your skin will close the cuts, no matter how many times you reopen them. Sometimes our skin creates a thicker layer using scar tissue just for added protection. The skin doesn’t seem to care how mean we are to it; it will still work tirelessly to fix itself.

Pupils change size depending on light


We don’t have to consciously tell our eyes to adjust to light- they just do it! When it’s bright out, our pupils contract to protect the sensitive cells in our retinas. When it’s dark, they enlarge to let more light in so we can see. Our eyes have their own complex defense system that we don’t have to actively train, and I think the pupils are the most interesting part of that system.

White blood cells devour things that are dangerous


White blood cells are more hard core than we can ever hope to be. They are probably the strongest defense system known to man; even stronger than the MN Vikings defensive line. White blood cells don’t wait for pathogens to come to them; they go looking for them and can even squeeze out of blood vessels and into the tissue to beat infections that occur there. They engulf and kill more threats to our bodies than we can count. White blood cells give new meaning to the words “constant vigilance” because they are literally always ready to defend and protect us. There is nothing else in this world that is more dedicated to defending you than your white blood cells. They will work to protect you even when you feel like you aren’t worth saving.

It regulates its own temperature

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I think this process really shows how hard our body fights for us to stay alive. It doesn’t just crank up the AC or the heat; it balances body fluids, maintains salt concentrations, controls the release of chemicals and hormones, regulates sweat glands, and so many other processes I can’t even begin to pretend to understand to keep our body temperature where it needs to be. We sweat when we need to cool off and we shiver when we need to warm up. This system even fights threats to our health by raising the temperature to cause a fever to kill whatever is making us sick. It’s fascinating that our bodies go through this complex process constantly, and we usually aren’t even aware of it. The fact that our bodies just know when to warm us up or cool us down is mind boggling.

Broken bones fix themselves


Like our skin, bones also know how to heal themselves. When we break a bone, our blood once again springs into action to form a protective clot around the fracture. Inside this clot, certain cells clean up the bone fragments left behind. A callus then forms over the fracture site to hold the bone in place and protect it while it heals. Inside the callus, new bone cells are created to repair the break. The bone then remodels itself by breaking down any extra tissue to return the bone to its original shape. It blows my mind that something as solid and strong as a bone can repair itself when it’s broken. How many things in this world can actually put themselves back together after being snapped in half? I think bones can also serve as a beautiful metaphor for life; when you feel broken, instead of trying to put all the broken pieces back together, just clean up the shards and create new pieces to fill the empty space. It can take a long time, but, like the bone, you are capable of rebuilding yourself.

It filters out toxins

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If you’re anything like me, you put a lot of toxic crap into your body. Luckily, our livers and kidneys are hard workers that filter all that crap out of us. You can partake in a three day drinking binge (guilty), and your body will just continuously filter out the chemicals and impurities. I’m not even going to begin to try to describe how this process works, but I think we could learn something from our bodies’ filtration system- as you go through life, you have to filter out the crap and focus on the good. If our livers and kidneys can do it, so can our minds.

The liver regrows


While we’re on the topic of livers, it completely blows my mind that the liver can just regrow. It’s the only organ that can do this, and you only need 25% of the original for it to grow back to full size. I put my liver through a lot of trouble, so it’s comforting for me to know that it can heal itself. I remember being a little kid and learning that a starfish can regrow its arm and thinking about how unbelievable that was. Little did I know that humans have an organ that can do the same thing. I mean, if I’m going to continuously damage a vital organ, it might as well be the one that can heal itself, right?

The heart just beats

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Have you ever taken the time to really think about how awesome the heart is? The thing that keeps us alive is the size of our fists and constantly beats (hopefully) to keep us going. You don’t have to consciously keep telling it to beat, it just does. On top of that, our heart pumps about 2,000 gallons of blood each day! Think about how much that is! No matter how much you may feel like dying, your heart will keep working its butt off to keep you alive. You can sit and tell it to stop beating, but it won’t- it will keep on fighting for you. If that isn’t love, then I don’t know what is.

We breathe

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9 times out of 10, we breathe without having to think about doing it. It seems like such a quick, simple process, but our lungs do a lot of complex work in a very short amount of time. We breathe in one type of molecule, and breathe out one completely different. Most of the time, the first thing a baby does when it’s born is take in a huge breath to let out a wail. Breathing not only keeps us alive, but it can also relax us. When you’re trying to calm someone down, the first thing you tell them is to take a deep breath. Some days, when I feel absolutely worthless, I give myself credit for simply breathing. When things seem unbelievably difficult, I tell myself to just keep breathing. I breathe to remind myself that I am alive. I am here and I matter. The same is true for everyone else in this world.

I don’t know if there is anyone in this world that likes 100% of their body 100% of the time. I could go on and on for days about the things I wish were different about my body, and I’m sure you could too. There are days when I hate the person I see in the mirror and cannot think of a single thing I genuinely like about myself. Those are the days I force myself to think about all the amazing things my body does for me, even when I’m not very nice to it.

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Our bodies work every moment of every day to keep us alive. They fight for us when no one else does. They are there for us when no one else is. Our bodies love us unconditionally, and never even ask for us to love them in return. We can scream and cry about how much we hate our bodies, and they will still fight for us. If our bodies can heal themselves in so many different ways, doesn’t that mean our minds can too? Our bodies remind us that we are worth loving; that our lives are worth fighting for. I think it’s time we start loving them back. You don’t have to love every single part of yourself every day, but you can take some time to think about all the amazing, unbelievable things your body can do and be grateful for that. Thank you, body, for keeping me alive today.

Things Taken for Granted While Living at Home

I want to start this off with a small disclaimer: I 100% understand that there are a lot of people who come from abusive, toxic, and/or unhealthy homes who will not agree with this post. I am in no way undermining their experiences, I am just sharing my personal experience and thoughts, and I am in no way trying to offend anyone. With that said, it’s story time!

While I was in high school, I couldn’t wait to leave home. While my life wasn’t awful, I did live in a household that tended to be quite hostel more often than not. Many times, it felt like you could cut the tension with a knife. I was pumped when the time came for me to leave home. After that came years of living in a dorm and apartments with a variety of roommates, which was sometimes extremely stressful and made me feel miserable, so you can imagine how excited I was to start living alone.

Don’t get me wrong, majority of the time I do genuinely like living alone. I like having an entire apartment to myself, being able to do what I want when I want, and being  able to leave things where it’s convenient for me. At this point, I’m not sure if I could ever go back to living with someone; it would have to be someone I really like. With that said, as there is with all things, there are downsides to living alone.

You have to do ALL the chores

If you’re like me and grew up in a home where you had designated chores to do, you probably thought they were the worst thing ever. My daily chores consisted of setting, clearing, and wiping off the kitchen table at supper time and vacuuming the kitchen after dinner (yes, my kitchen/dining room had carpet- can you say 1970’s!?) and I HATED it. Now, however, I would love nothing more than to have that be my only chore to do. Living alone means doing EVERYTHING on your own. I do the dishes, the vacuuming, the laundry, all of it! I have to do all the cleaning because there is no one else to do it! I don’t know if I ever thanked my mom for doing all the housework stuff she did, but I am now.


There’s no one to grab things for you

Growing up, I had a little brother I could make get things for me, so that I didn’t have to get up. I could yell for my mom to bring me something until she got so annoyed, she’d do it just to shut me up. I lived with one of my roommates for three years, and I would literally wait for her to get up so I could ask her to grab me something (to be fair, she did the same to me- it usually depended on who got up first). Now that I live alone, if I want something, I have to get up and get it because there’s no one else to get it for me. I have not yet trained my dog to grab my phone charger, so that means I have to go upstairs to grab it myself. It’s a minor inconvenience, but definitely something I miss at times.


You have to pay for everything

I don’t know if you all know this, but things are EXPENSIVE! I cannot believe I EVER had the nerve to say, “It’s only $20.” Nowadays, it’s more like, “I cannot believe that is 5 whole dollars!” Anything I want for myself, for my apartment, for work, or for anything else, I have to buy myself. If I can’t afford it, I don’t get it. I either save money for it or live without it. And that doesn’t even include all the bills! Rent, car payments, insurance, internet, student loans, the list just never ends. I get paid, and I feel rich for about five seconds, then I pay bills and buy groceries and I’m back to being broke. Being an adult comes with a lot of expenses I didn’t agree to. I miss when $20 made me feel like I had so much money, AND I could spend all of it on whatever I wanted. Now, I have to think economically and make fiscally responsible decisions. This is especially hard when I have fine wine tastes but have the budget for cheap beer. This is not fun for me, and having to pay for everything is really interfering with me living my best life.


You have to schedule all of your own appointments

This is probably the biggest shock of adulthood. Scheduling appointments should not be that hard, but for some reason it is. The hardest part is remembering to do the scheduling; I usually remember at night when everything is closed. When I actually do remember, it’s so difficult to find a day and time that they have available that actually works with my schedule. Then to top it off, I have to remember when I scheduled it for- I almost missed an appointment a few days ago because I completely forgot about it. Luckily, I remembered last minute and made it just in time. I miss when my mom just scheduled them, told me when they were, and then usually drove me to them. Or even in college when I could make my roommate do it for me. Scheduling your own appointments is honestly the worst.


You have to do all the grocery shopping

I HATE grocery shopping so much!!! I miss the days when I could open the fridge and it would magically be filled with food. Now, if I want something, I have to go out and buy it. Never mind the fact that I usually forget a vital ingredient or something I desperately need (like the deodorant I forgot to buy and am now out of). There’s also those times when I look at something like milk, and I’m like, “No, I don’t need that. I have plenty.” Then upon going home and opening the fridge, I realize, “Yes, I did in fact need milk”. Plus, groceries are SO expensive, and it seems like produce expires a lot faster when you’re the one paying for it. Suddenly, all of my mom’s couponing and buying generic brands of everything make so much more sense. At this point, I feel like this post should just be called #ThanksMom.


You can’t blame anyone else for your messes

I don’t think I ever realized how often I could tell myself the mess in the living room wasn’t because of me. We all like to think we are neat and tidy, and some of us are more than others, but when you live alone you can no longer deny you’re less than clean habits. I am, for the most part, pretty tidy, but I have a bad habit of leaving things I’m working on scattered throughout my apartment. This habit is even worse now that I’m not sharing these spaces with anyone. I can’t even pretend that I wasn’t the one who left the couch pillows all over the living room anymore because there is no one else who possibly could have done it! This is one of those things you don’t even realize you did until you can’t anymore.


You have to cook all your own meals

I love to cook, but there are many nights when I want a home-cooked meal that I don’t have to make. I miss being able to lay in my room reading or sit on the couch watching T.V. until supper was ready. I took an unbelievably amount of home cooked meals for granted, and I cannot believe I ever had the audacity to complain about what was made. Plus, there’s just something about mom making your food that makes it taste so much better. The worst part of it all is that I have to do ALL the cleanup when I make a meal, which everyone knows is the WORST part of cooking. Once again, thank you mom.


Always having someone around

Like I said before, I do enjoy living alone for the most part, but the hardest part for me has been how incredibly lonely I can be at times. My social life is pretty close to non-existent, so I spend a lot of my time home alone. There a lot of times I miss having someone waiting for me at home. I love to cook, but cooking awesome meals for one isn’t as fun as sharing it with someone. I miss having someone to watch T.V. with so we could discuss the show and bounce ideas around while we watched. It’s even as simple as missing someone to talk to about my day. Even though it could drive me nuts at times, I do miss always having someone around to talk to and spend time with. As much as I love living alone, I don’t so much love being lonely.

If you are living at home or even with a roommate or two, take some time to appreciate these things, because you will miss them when they are gone. If you have never lived alone, I do recommend it, because you do discover a lot about yourself and your capabilities. It’s an experience I’m glad to be having right now, despite the downsides. However, I do have a deep appreciation for all the things I took for granted when I was living at home, and I know that is something I will never get back. There’s no way my mom would ever let me move back home! I love having my own place and the sense of independence that comes with, but that doesn’t mean I can’t also appreciate the past.