For the Boys

In today’s society, there is a lot of emphasis on feminism and women’s rights, rightfully so. However, in the fight for gender equality, we can forget about our male counterparts. We get so caught up in being heard, being treated with respect, and being treated fairly (as we should), that we forget to remember that guys need to be reminded of their worth sometimes too. The goal of feminism isn’t to prove that women are better than men; the goal is for men and women to be treated equally. When we try to make our cause heard by putting men down, we are no better than the misogynists who try to hold us down. So this post is for the boys, because no one tells you these things nearly enough.

You don’t need to be 6’ tall and have a six pack to be good looking. You boys are perfect at all shapes and sizes. Not every girl is looking for the tall and muscular build; some of us like the soft, teddy bear boys, some of us like the short and stocky boys, and some of us like the tall and thin. As with women, beauty comes in all shapes and sizes for men too. Don’t forget that.

Your facial hair does not define your masculinity. You are just as manly when you are clean shaven. Just as make up doesn’t define my femininity, whether or not you have a beard shouldn’t change people’s opinion of you. Wear your face however you like.

You have as much right to your child as women do. You helped make that beautiful life, and that child is half you. Don’t let anyone tell you that you are not as important to your child as his/her mother is. He/she needs you just as much as his/her other parent. No one has the right to tell you any differently.

Male rape victims deserve the same treatment and attention as female rape victims. No one deserves to be raped, including men. If you are raped, it is not your fault. Let me say that again for the people in the back: IF YOU GET RAPED IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT. It is equally as horrifying as a female victim, regardless of what gender was your rapist. It is still a heinous crime, and you should not be held responsible for that. You are every much as a victim as a female is, and have a divine right to be treated as such.

It’s okay for you to have mental health problems. Having depression, anxiety, or anything else does not make you weak. Having the courage to admit and face your problems makes you strong. You should be treated with respect, not matter what kind of help you need.

It’s okay for you to be sensitive. It does not make you any less of a man. You have emotions for a reason, so don’t be afraid to let them show. It’s okay to cry when you’re sad, or to feel hurt, or even to feel unloved and lonely. You are a human being with feelings, and you should be allowed to express them any way you want to.

You deserve to be treated as a king as much as I deserve to be treated like a queen. If a girl expects you to treat her like a princess, then she better be fully prepared to treat you like a prince, because you are worth that. Don’t ever forget that you deserve a fairy tale life just as much as she does. You should never have to prove your worth to someone, because you are human being. This means you have just as much worth as every other human being on this planet. Don’t forget that. You are a king.

You don’t always need to be the knight in shining armor. It’s perfectly acceptable if you need saving too. It’s okay for you to need help from someone else once in awhile. Don’t feel like you always need to be on the white horse- it’s okay to take off your armor once in awhile and be vulnerable. Sometimes you need someone to save you just as much as I sometimes need someone to save me. A girl or another boy can be your knight too.

You deserve everything you want in this life. Whether it’s a job, a relationship, a family, whatever it is, you deserve it. Don’t let anybody tell you that you don’t deserve something you want. You deserve the world just as much as I do. Don’t be afraid to chase it.

I have always stood for gender equality. The way road to feminism should not be paved by putting men down. We are all people and deserve to be treated as such. While you continue to fight for the female voice to be heard, make sure you aren’t smother the male voice. They need to be heard too. In some ways, they need gender equality just as much as we do. Treat everyone with respect, and we can build a better world. Spread love not hate, and never stop striving to be the person you want to be.

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Why I am Disappointed in Us

As the 2016 presidential election came to a close last night, I am awestruck. I cannot believe we, as a nation, allowed this to happen. I usually try to stay away from politics on my blog, but this is something different entirely. I’ve been racking mind, trying to figure out how we could possibly elect someone so filled with hate to lead our country. Part of me still thinks this whole thing is a joke. But the sad reality is that we are not nearly as evolved as we like to pretend we are. We are leaps and bounds behind the other superpower countries of this world. This was never a political issue: it is a moral issue.

The fact that we have chosen to elect a racist, sexist, hate spewing bigot as our president is beyond me. Have we forgotten all the progress the people that came before us fought to make. As a woman, I feel we have spit on those like Susan B. Anthony, who led the women’s revolution in the 20’s. They fought for years to give us the right to vote, and how do we repay them? We elect a man who has shown little no respect to women during his entire campaign. We elect a man who treats women like objects, and who has made sexual comments about his own daughters. We forgo a powerful, intelligent woman and choose a man whose views reflect those of a 1950’s man. We are a disgrace to their memories, because they deserve better than this.

Have we forgotten that the Civil War ended and that the North won? Because to me, it seems as though there are people who are under the impression that we are still fighting it. Have we forgotten people like Fredrick Douglas and Harriet Tubman, who put their lives on the line to try and help those stuck in slavery? Have forgotten how hard Martin Luther King Jr worked to end segregation? He paid the ultimate price for trying to create a better world where we chose to love rather than hate. How to we honor him? We elect a racist as our president. A man who talks about deporting immigrants from a country that used to welcome them with open arms. We are an insult to their memories. They would be ashamed of what we have become.

Have we forgotten about why The Colonies sought independence from Britain? Have we forgotten about their fight for religious freedom? Have we forgotten the reason our founding fathers made sure to include the phrase “The church and state shall be kept separate?” in our constitution? Have we forgotten that we are a nation built on religious freedom? Have we forgotten that the First Amendment is about more than freedom of speech; it’s about religious freedom. How do we respond to this? We elect a president who says Muslims are the reasons for all our problems. We elect a president who labels all Muslims terrorists and followers of ISIS. We elect a president who has said we should make all Muslims wear a symbol to identify them. We elect a president who is choosing to ignore one of the fundamental principles this country is built on.

We have insulted the LBGT community, the Latinos, the African Americans, the Muslims, the women, the poor, and anyone else who is not a rich, white male. We have elected a man who’s heart is filled with hate. But the scariest thing isn’t that he’s won. The scariest thing is the people who put them there. The people that believe white misogyny is what should fuel our nation. The people who defend the constitution, but go against the fundamental rights of equality. We had two choices in this election: make history or revert back in time. Sadly, we chose to ignore all the progress we have fought tirelessly to make, and revert back to a time before Eisenhower. This is a choice we all now have to live with.

I don’t blame those that voted for Trump. I blame the people who chose not to cast their vote, and now complain about the results. I blame those that were naïve enough to believe a third party could ever win in this society. Teddy Roosevelt couldn’t even win as a third party, and he is regarded as one of our best presidents in history. I blame those that saw this election as a joke, and wrote things like “Harambe” on their ballot, and now are wondering how Trump was elected. But most of all, I blame those of us who didn’t work harder to show others why he wasn’t a good choice. I blame those of us who sat back and watched the election unfold. I blame those of us who filled our social media sites with blatant lies, and those of us who never fact checked any of those lies. I blame those of us who thought everything they read on social media was the truth. I blame those of us who have waited until now to say something about racism and sexism, but did nothing before this election. I blame those of us who raised our children to hate others based on their gender, race, and beliefs. I blame those of us who have spewed more hate than love into this world.

We have gone from the most powerful country in the world to being the laughing stock of the world. How did we get here? How did we go so far backwards? How proud of us do you think our past presidents would be? So you honestly believe that Washington, who fought for religious freedom, Lincoln, who fought to end slavery, Teddy Roosevelt, who supported women’s suffrage, Eisenhower, who saw the horrors of war and sought to accomplish world peace, Kennedy, who worked tirelessly on a bill to end segregation, Johnson, who got that bill passed after Kennedy was killed for his beliefs, Reagan, who rebuilt the GOP after Nixon tore it down, and even Obama, who has tried his hardest to give us all a better life, would be proud of who we have chosen as our president? We have made our choices, and now we have to live with them. But remember, the government only has as much power as the people give it. That is something that we seem to forget. All we can do now is prepare for the worst and hope for the best.

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The Kaepernick Issue

Ok friends, as much as I hate to do this, I’m getting political. For those of you that don’t know, let me start by saying that I am a bleeding heart liberal when it comes to my ideologies. I’m as close as you can possibly get to being a socialist without actually being one, so naturally this post is going to be on the left side of things. Now for a disclaimer: If you are planning on spreading hate on my page, get off my site. If you are going to try and start a childish argument, get off my site. If you are going to insult me and/or others, get off my site. This is MY domain that I paid for, so it is MY place to share MY opinion here. As you read this, try to keep an open mind. I am not anti- American or anti-white people or whatever other mindless insult you can come up with. I’m a PERSON. A person with my own opinion, just like everybody else.

So what are we talking about here? What am I writing about? Colin Kaepernick is the name and not standing for the national anthem is his game. I would like to start by saying that I, in part, understand Mr. Kaepernick, because I choose to look away from the flag during the national anthem. Granted my reasons are different from his, I understand the judgment that comes with that choice. I look down because I believe that we have lost sight of the values our founding fathers built this country on. We have lost sight of what it means to be a good person, because we care more about a colored piece of cloth than we do actual people. I have that right, just as Colin does. And yes, I understand that I have that right due to the Veterans that have served our country, however we as a nation have not fought for freedom for many years. Today’s wars are fought for entirely different reasons. You can argue this notion, but then I ask that you explain to me how Iraq and Afghanistan were threats to our freedom. Today’s wars are different than the American Revolution. So to say that those that don’t look down on Colin Kaepernick are “what’s wrong with the country,” are not correct. Because it is the people that can’t understand that we are allowed to believe differently from others are what is wrong with this country. The people that are so quick to judge others before making an effort to understand them are what is wrong with this country. Those that spend their lives spewing hate and negativity into the world are what is wrong with this country.

Kaepernick chose not to stand because of the inequality African Americans are facing in today’s society. Some people say that is wrong or incorrect, and I call crap on those people. In the past week, I have seen three times as many posts and articles about Colin Kaepernick than I saw about any of the African Americans who were murdered in the last month. That is racism. I see people infuriated by Colin’s actions, but not nearly as much anger is directed at the fact that people are being murdered in our streets. That is racism. I see people pulling every example of a “successful” African American to prove that they choose to be oppressed. That is racism. I see people denying that we have a race problem in this country. That is ignorant racism.

The main argument I see against Colin is that “he is in no way oppressed, because he plays on a football team and makes a lot of money.” Why is this an issue we are concerning ourselves with? Why are we questioning whether or not Colin is being oppressed? As a white person, it is not my place, nor is it my right to say whether or not African Americans are being oppressed. Just like a bully doesn’t get decided who is labeled a victim, the majority doesn’t get to decide which minorities are being oppressed. Why do we become so obsessed with defending our way of life, even when we know that way is wrong, rather than try and fix it for the better? We need to stop blaming society for our problems, because we ARE society. You want to see a change in society? Then change your behavior. Stop focusing on these little, minor issues, and start looking at the big picture.

Colin Kaepernick’s life choices are not something we should obsess over and try to prove wrong. His life choices do not directly affect our lives, so why obsess? Whether or not he stands for the national anthem does not change the fact that I have three classes tomorrow. It does not change the fact that I am getting up at 8am and it doesn’t change the fact that my sociology homework is not done. Instead of focusing on the fact that Colin did not stand, look at WHY he is choosing to remain seated, because racism does affect our lives, some more than others, but all of our lives. I am tired of seeing this country take minor issues and blow them into something huge, while we ignore and turn away from the issues that actually matter. A year from now, what will matter more: Colin standing for the national anthem, or whether or not we have made an effort to come closer to race equality? Think about this before you get all worked up about an issue or post something to your Facebook page. What does it matter? How does it affect your life? A year from now, will it still matter? We are all humans here and we are all different. Instead of belittling differences in opinions, embrace them. Diversity is a beautiful thing and we can learn so much from each other. We just have to be open to it. Maybe when we remember what really matters in this world, I will again look to the flag with pride during the national anthem.

 

Why I am not “Proud” to be American

I hear people say all the time that they are proud to be Americans. It’s second nature to associate the word “American” with “pride.” I, however, am not “proud” to be an American. When I say this, many look down on me and/or tell me to leave the country. And it is that, right there, why I am not proud of my country. So often times, people think that because they are American, they are worth more than others. As if being born in the United States makes them better than anyone else in the world. But the moment someone disagrees with this notion, we are told to “just leave.” It is my belief that people are just people. I don’t care if you’re European, African, North American, black, white, Latina, or whatever else you may identify as- none of those things defines your self-worth because we are all just people. I was just born in a different place than others- this doesn’t make me better by any means. This doesn’t mean that my life is worth more. The only reason I am American is because a long time ago some of my ancestors decided to get on a boat- this doesn’t make me special. I am a person, just like you. We are all just humans. The country I was born in doesn’t make me superior to another. No I do not hate America and I realize that there are worse places to live, but I do not think that my country is better than others like we like to believe it is. I do not hate all Americans, because I don’t like to generalize people- I prefer to know them before I judge them. You can call me any name you please or say whatever you want- you’re not going to insult me and you’re sure as hell not going to change my mind. I prefer to live in a world where people are just people and they are free to be who they want to be. So no, I am not proud to have born in a country where so many have a false sense of superiority. I am not proud to live in a country whose government thinks they can do what they want in other countries just because this is America. I am not proud to know people that feel that war is “population control.” I am proud of those that aren’t afraid to stand up and share what they feel. I am proud of those that can admit their flaws. I am proud of those that try to make the world better. I am proud of those that spread love instead of hate. I am proud of people that understand that we are all the same on the inside, no matter how we look or where we come from. So I may not be proud to be an American, but I am proud of the things that truly matter.