What Could Have Been

When I think of you, I can’t help but think about what could have been.

Had things gone differently- the way they did in my mind- where would we be?

If things had gone differently, would we have

Morphed into our own version of perfect?

Would we be the people I still see inside my mind?

We had a chance to jump in together,

But only one of us was willing to take the leap.

Maybe I misread the signs and maybe

I was a fool for thinking we could be something, but maybe

We will forever be in state of missed opportunity.

There are times when I find myself lost

In the world of what could have been.

Where we are in a place where the universe is shaped around us-

Where we discover happiness together.

In my mind, we find peace in each other’s arms

And share secret smiles in the moments we steal.

But then reality sets in, and I remember who we really are.

I sneak glances at you, but you never look at me.

I rehearse what to say inside my head,

But the words never pass my lips.

I pretend it doesn’t hurt as we remain

Trapped dancing around each other

In this hollow state.

 

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Being Single in a Double’s World

We spend half of our lives searching for love, hearing about love, watching movies about love, longing for love, reading about love, watching other people fall in love: we are constantly surrounded by love. This can be great for people who are happy and in love, but what about those of us who aren’t? Our society seems fueled on love; as if our lives are incomplete unless we have found love. And those who have yet to experience it can’t help but feel inferior and incomplete. But as I sit on my couch- where I’ve been for the past three hours- trying desperately to get through a reading for my night class, binge watching Sex and the City, and eating more Cheetos than I care to admit while a dog sits next to me licking her own butt, I can’t help but wonder if we have gotten it all wrong.  

What if this is just a plot to make us single people feel bad about ourselves; a ploy to force us to spend years of our lives feeling like we aren’t worthy or good enough? When we see people constantly going from one person to the next, which makes us wonder why we can’t seem to find even one. We feel young, unworthy, and lonely, but are these emotions sincere, or does society make us feel this way? Are the people who go from one relationship to jumping straight into another necessarily mature and happy? Could it be just the opposite? Why is it that we automatically think people who are constantly in a relationship- the same or different ones- are better than those of us who remain single?

It may be because the first thing people ask when we haven’t seen them in a while is “Are you seeing anyone?” And every time we feel humiliated when we have to say “No.” Then we are met with looks of sympathy and pity or told not to worry, because there’s someone out there for us. Or it could be that couples are everywhere we go- on the bus, at the movies, at our favorite restaurants- they are all over the place! We are constantly being bombarded by couples who seem to be slapping us in the face with our lack of relationship. We can’t help but be reminded of how we don’t have someone to bring to our favorite eatery or how much we wish we had someone to bring with us to the movies that makes it worth raising the “cuddle arm.” Both of these could very well be the answer, but my theory is that there is only one thing to blame- society.

Society teaches us that someone must love us romantically in order to be considered worthwhile. It doesn’t matter how much our family members love us or how many loving friends we have- if we don’t have that romantic partner, we simply are inferior and incomplete. Every movie we see has the guy get the girl in the end. How many movies have you seen in which the main character ends up single at the end? Anytime there is a possible romantic conquest, the hero always wins in the end. But why is it only considered winning if they end up together? We are trained to view single people as lesser beings. Those in relationships view single people as a threat to their happy relationship, because it seems that single people have no self-control or respect for those already in relationships. But what happens if we simply look beyond the label?

Your relationship status doesn’t define you worth or your maturity level. You can be mature as a single person and you can be extremely immature in a relationship. As a single person, you are worth just as much as a person in a relationship. A relationship is not the key to happiness, because you will never be happy in a relationship unless you learn to happy by yourself. We need to stop basing our self-worth on our relationship status, and stop judging people based on whether or not they are single. Being single doesn’t mean anything is wrong with you- in fact, it takes and incredible amount of strength and courage to be single this day and age- it just means you are choosing to work on yourself instead. Single or not, you are worthy of love and respect. There is nothing wrong with choosing to be single or being happy in a relationship. To those who are struggling with being single: hold on to your single self, because it’s gone, you cannot get it back- not completely. Embrace it, enjoy it, and savor it. To all my dear readers: never stop striving to be the best person you can be. You keep working on you, and I’ll keep working on me.

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If you are still feeling discouraged about being single, check out my post on the main benefits of being single in the link below.

https://historyiswhoweare.com/2016/11/16/what-it-means-to-be-single/

 

You’ve Won

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According to this, you’ve won. I blocked and you won. It seems so simple and straight forward; you clearly won. So why is it so difficult for me to understand? There’s no doubt that I feel like I’ve lost something, but what makes you the winner? Usually winning comes with a prize, so, what have you won, exactly? Are you elated by the thoughts of how much you got to me? Does the fact that you nearly caused me to end it all give you feelings of excitement and power? Did you enjoy tearing me apart, piece by piece? Are you satisfied with the fact that you started a chain reaction that makes me feel more alone than ever before? Have you enjoyed watching me struggle to pick up the shards of myself? Do you relish in the thought that I am unable to leave my house without constantly looking over my shoulder for you? Does the fact that simply walking to my car fills me with panic make you happy? Are you pleased with yourself now that I am terrified of seeing you? Are you proud of yourself for giving me nightmares nearly every night? Do you feel that you’ve accomplished something by making me feel unsafe in my own home? Do you feel like winner? What did you win? Because I still can’t figure it out. My sense of security? My peace of mind? My sanity? Help me to understand why you’re a winner, because I can’t seem to figure it out. But maybe that’s because I’m the one who’s lost.

Things to Stop Saying to Single People

As someone who has been a single for an unbelievably long time, there are some things I get so unbelievably tired of hearing, especially when they are coming from people in relationships. As I’m sure you all mean the best, all you are offering is pointless, rehearsed phrases that are somehow supposed to make us feel better about our current situation. The truth is no matter how single you were before, being in a relationship discredits pretty much anything you say to us when we are upset about being alone. While there are times you can be helpful and supportive, here are some things to just STOP saying to single people.

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“There is someone out there for you.” That’s rich coming from someone who already has a person. While I understand this is a go to phrase when a friend is feeling bummed about living the solo life, it’s such a cliché that we will probably just roll our eyes and forget you even said it. Plus, how could you possibly know that? There may very well be no one out there for us. As a single girl, I get so tired of hearing this automatic response, it may as well be said in your best robot voice.

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How are you still single?” If I knew that, maybe I wouldn’t still be single. This question is the worst, especially since it implies there is something wrong with me because I’m single. The best response to this? The only thing I can think of is that I’m just too awesome for anyone to handle. Just because I haven’t found someone yet, does NOT automatically mean there is something wrong with me, so don’t insinuate it.

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“You’re too picky.” If you think this is a helpful thing to say to your single friend, then you had better be prepared to defend you position and explain which of their standards they should lower. When it comes to finding a romantic partner, we have the right to be picky. I would much rather have my standards sky high than take anyone who smiles at me. In fact, my standards are right where I want them to be.

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“—— is single; you should totally get together!” Just because someone is single, DOES NOT mean I automatically want to date them. Do we need to revisit the high standards? If you actually want to set your single friend up with someone, maybe tell them a little bit more about the person other than the fact that they are single. But even before you do that, ask yourself why you really want them together to make sure your intentions have your friend’s best interest in mind. If it’s only because you want them to be in a relationship, drop it and let it go.

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“Guys don’t like girls who are…” Shut up. Shut up. SHUT UP!!! The same goes vice a versa. You are telling me that I need to change who I am to be wanted, which is probably one of the rudest things you could even say to a friend. If you think your friend needs to change to gain a relationship, then maybe you need to reevaluate your friendship because you’re doing a shitty job at it.

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“It will come when you least expect it.” You know what else comes when you least expect it? A bus, a meteor, a tornado… If you can’t find the perfect wedding dress or your favorite pair of shoes, do you stop looking and just hope it’ll turn up? NO! You look your ass off until you find it, so why should love be any different? I was raised to chase my dreams, not sit on my ass and wait for them to find me. So maybe just let me continue my scavenger hunt instead of telling me to give up.

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“You need to put yourself out there.” This is especially rich coming from the same person who told you love will come when you stop looking. As if we weren’t already aware of this? Do you think I honestly believe I’m going to find the person of my dreams at home wearing sweatpants, binge watching Criminal Minds, elbow deep in a bag of Doritos? Of course not! I’m putting myself out there the best way I know how, which should eventually be good enough. Unless you are going to follow this phrase up with some concrete advice on how to do this, keep it to yourself.

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“I miss being single.” Please shut up; I don’t want to hurt you. If you miss it that bad, break up with your significant other. If not, then don’t say it. You’re most likely just going to piss us off, or at least roll our eyes. Seriously shut up, or I may punch you in the throat.

18081dde7f2392ad21545ba1d748ce56Next time your friend is bummed about living the solo life, maybe try to give them some helpful, non-cliché advice that they can actually benefit from. If you don’t have anything, maybe just hug them, tell them you’re sorry, and reassure them that you know it sucks. At least then you can level with them. We don’t need to be told what we are doing wrong, we don’t need to be told what we need to change, and we sure as hell don’t need to be told we just haven’t met “the one.” But most of all, don’t gloat about your happy relationship or the “journey” you took to find your match. Just let us be miserable and wallow in our self-pity rather than making us feel crappier than we already do.

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To the single people out there; you do not need to change who you are for anyone but yourself. Don’t lower your standards just because someone tells you to, because chances are that will just lead you to an unhappy relationship. Do what YOU feel is right for YOU and what makes YOU happy, and if you find someone along the way that makes your heart pound and your stomach flutter, that’s what I’d call a bonus.

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If you liked this post, check out my post on the benefits of being single found in the link below!

https://historyiswhoweare.com/2016/11/16/what-it-means-to-be-single/

The Memories

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Having an eidetic memory may seem like a blessing, especially to those who struggle to remember things. In some ways, I am very fortunate. I memorized the presidents in order one day, just because I felt like it. I memorized the Greek alphabet because I was bored. I remember my locker combination from fifth grade and my schedule from every semester of high school. I remember what rooms all my college my classes were in, and what time they were at. I can remember where I sat in all my classes from high school and college. I remember what I wore for every first day of class, as well as several other mundane days. But every silver lining is surrounded by a cloud. Having an eidetic memory isn’t always an asset; it can be a curse.

I can remember the day we first met and the morning after. I can remember the night he walked me across campus, because someone had grabbed me and scared me. I remember how he helped me through my first college anxiety attack, and how he was the first person I told when I scored a try for the first time. I can remember the first day he texted me that started it all, and exactly what it said. I can remember every conversation that made my heart flutter and my stomach flip word for word. I remember that the first big fight we had was on a Monday, and I had a job interview. I remember what I was wearing the first night I went to his house, and every night we spent together after that. I remember what we talked about and what we did on all ten nights I went to his house and what I wore the days he said the sweetest things I had ever heard. I remember him asking if I was okay after an injury, while I was riding in the car. I remember every time he made my cry, but also every time he made me feel safe. I remember all the times he told me I was pretty, but also the time he told me I didn’t need makeup to look good. I remember him telling me I was prettier when I smiled, and when he offered to pick me up when I was afraid. I remember everything that happened with us in that short period of time. I remember that at this time last year, I was texting him every single day, because the first day I went without talking to him was April 4th.

Getting over someone is so much harder when you remember every time he made you laugh, made you cry, made you smile, and made you feel like something might be there. When you remember texts word for word, from the first to the last. It can make you ache for them times that remain clear as day inside your head. Ache to be back in the arms that you can still feel around you. Ache to listen his heartbeat the way you used to. Ache to have someone to talk to again. Because when something happens, good or bad, he’s still the first person you want to tell, but then you remember you can’t and you feel like your heart is breaking all over again. You ache because no matter how much you wish you could forget all of it, you know you never will. But the worst part? It isn’t him you miss at all. It’s the feeling of being wanted that you miss. It’s the thought that someone was choosing you that you can’t move on from. It’s the person you were with him, because that was a happiness like no other. But most of all, it’s not you that I miss so desperately; it’s the you I spend so much time building in my head.  

 

Undeniable Benefits of a Third Wheel

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“An extra person joining a couple in a social context, especially one that interferes or gets in the way.” That’s the technical definition of a third wheel, but honestly who reads the dictionary? People are constantly adding a negative connotation to the phrase “third wheel,” but if there’s one thing I have learned, it’s that there are some indisputable benefits to not only being a third wheel, but also to having a third wheel. As someone who serves as an official third wheel for five couples, it is my belief that every couple needs a third wheel to be complete. Let’s start with the benefits of having a third wheel, as a couple.

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So why have a third wheel? Well, first of all, you will have an amazing friend who is willing to be there for you at all times. You have a third friend for any activities you might want to do, a third friend to make an abundance of happy memories with, another partner in crime, and a member for your future wedding party. The third wheel will offer unconditional moral support, award worthy relationship advice, unlimited fun, and a lifelong friend. We can help you do anything from picking out gifts to investigations of significant others all the way to helping you hide a body (just don’t tell us what happened, so we can testify). We will remain neutral in arguments, unless there is a clear wrong side. We help you plan and carry out perfect dates, have a blast at parties, and most importantly, show our love and support in any situation. Your third wheel is someone who will always be there for you; someone you can trust with your deepest secrets. They will always put you first and make sure your relationship is running smoothly. Now what many people don’t know is that being a third wheel isn’t all fun and games; it can be a lot a work and is a HUGE responsibility. This is especially true when your third wheel has more than one couple. So, try not to forget to show them how much they mean to you, because third wheels can forget this easily. Show your third wheel that you care about them and love having them be a part of your duo. Now as many benefits as there are to having a third wheel, there are far more to being one. 

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When you are a third wheel, you get to enjoy all the things that come with a relationship without actually being in one, which means no responsibilities. Plus, having two friends is much better than just one. Your couples will teach you the do’s and don’ts in a relationship, which will make you much better prepared should you ever get your own. You get to help plan all the surprises in a relationship, but won’t be held responsible if they don’t turn out. You get to figure out the type of person you want for a relationship, but you also get to see all the advantages of living a single life. You don’t have to worry about your wingmen stealing your crush, because they have their own significant other already. You have two people to always look out for you, and two that are on the hunt for you. You have easy access to points of view from both genders and you learn how to manage any awkward situation. You also get really really good at being a relationship counselor. You get the best of both the couple world and the single world without having to choose between the two. But the best benefit of all? You get to see what love looks like. You get to see the kind of relationship you want. You have a model couple to take after. Your faith in true love is restored. When two of your friends are in love, you can either see it as awkward and weird, or you can choose to see it as fun and exciting.

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Being a third wheel is not an easy job, which is why it takes a special type of person to be one. Remember to appreciate your third wheel, because I guarantee they appreciate you. If you are a third wheel, or even an eleventh wheel like me, remember that you are not just a third wheel; you are a beautiful unicycle and they are your training wheels. Stop making a third wheel such a negative thing, because it can be a wonderful, beautiful experience that you will lose when you stop being single. Enjoy being one and enjoying having one. You won’t find anyone else remotely close to them; you especially won’t find someone who loves you as much as your third wheel does, except each other, of course. To my couples; it is an honor to serve as your third wheel. You have taught me how fun being single can be, but also what a good relationship looks like. You have shown me what love really looks like; the good, the bad, and the ugly. So, don’t be in a hurry to jump onto a bicycle; enjoy being a tricycle.

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Dear Future Boyfriend

Dear Future Boyfriend,

I don’t know if you’ll ever actually exist, but in the off chance that you will, there’s some things you should probably know. First of all, I know that I am hard to love and I’m sorry for that. I know I won’t make it easy for you, but I hope you know that it isn’t easy for me either. Opening myself up and allowing someone to love me will be one of the hardest things I will ever do. I know you will get angry, frustrated, and fed up with me, but just know that I am loving you the best way I know how to.

I will pick a lot of fights. I can’t help it. Just know that that is me testing you and trying to push you away, just to see if you will stay. I hope you do. I only pick fights with the people I really care about, so know that those fights are not out of hate or anger, but out of love and fear of losing you. I would never intentionally hurt you, because that is just not who I am. It seems backwards, but what can I say? I’m crazy.

Speaking of that, I hope you will embrace all my weird quirks as I have. I do and say a lot of abnormal things, but I think the key is to take them for what they are and see the humor in them, as I do. It will make of our lives much easier. Yes, I am odd, but I can also be quite entertaining. I’m sure you have a lot of quirks as well, because otherwise how would this relationship work?

Because I want you to be successful in this relationship, I want to give you some advice. I want you to call me out on things. Don’t let me get away with being difficult, not saying what’s wrong, and not being open. I will get angry when you do it initially, but I promise you it’s what I want. Call me out on my bullshit; don’t just put up with it.

Be thoughtful. I’m not materialistic by any means, but I appreciate thought far more than any gift. Any guy can go buy a girl a heart shaped necklace, but I want you to put thought into things. I’m not like other girls, so I don’t want to be treated like one. I would appreciate a heart shaped pizza or a handwritten letter over any piece of jewelry or stuffed teddy bear. Flowers are an exception here, because I love flowers (hint hint).

More than anything, I want us to have fun together. I don’t want to spend all our time going out to eat and sitting on a couch (although those things are nice sometimes). I want to go look at the stars, play at a park, check out Christmas lights, and go on crazy adventures. I want to have stories to tell about us; good stories. I don’t want to be just another stereotypical couple; I want to be different.

I want to do nice things for you, just because I want to make sure you know that I appreciate you. I know it’s supposed to be boys doing romantic things for girls, but I want to do romantic things for you too. I will probably be crazy about you, and I really want you to understand that. I want you to have no doubts about how much I care about you, so I’m going to do my best to show you.

I tend to say what I mean. If I tell you I don’t care if you go out with your friends; do it. It’s not a trap. If I say I won’t be mad, I won’t be mad. I’m not a puzzle for you to figure out and I don’t expect you to read my mind. That’s not fair to you, so I will say what I mean as often as I can. I’m not your mother, so I don’t want to act like I am. I don’t need you to ask me permission to do the things you want to do. It’s your life, so I want you to live it.

I cannot do clingy. It’s not because I don’t want you around, it’s because I am so used to being independent that I will need alone time. I won’t text and call you every day, and I will get annoyed if I am expected to spend all my free time with you. I will feel suffocated and try to push you away. I don’t want to be the center of your world; I just want to be a part of it.

I hope I can bring you happiness. I know I won’t be the best girl in the world, but I will try my hardest to be the best that I canfor you. I have been waiting so long to find you, so I won’t take this relationship lightly, despite how I may act. Some days will be really hard, and it will probably be a lot of work, but I will try my hardest to make this a good and wholesome relationship. I don’t give up on people easily and I care very deeply about those I love, and you will be no exception. I hope that I can love you the way you deserve to be loved, and I hope you can love me more than I love myself.

Hope to see you some day,

Ruby

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100 Reasons

I haven’t written poetry in a very long time, however this little beauty was inspired by Lady Gaga’s song, A Million Reasons. This was also quite personal to write, but I also found it very therapeutic. Poetry is not my usual forte, but I think this one turned out quite well.

I have 100 things I want to say to you, but 101 reasons not to say anything.

I have 100 reasons to trust you, but 101 reasons not to.

I had 100 reasons to stay, but 101 reasons to run.

I have wanted to text you 100 times, but I’ve had 101 reasons to put my phone down.

I have 100 reasons to want to see you, but 101 reasons to stay away.

I have 100 reasons to cry over you, but 101 reasons to keep my eyes dry.

I have 100 good memories with you that occupy my mind, but 101 bad ones that still haunt me.

I have 100 reasons to fight for you, but 101 reasons to lay down my sword.

I had 100 reasons to believe it would work out, but 101 reasons to stop kidding myself.

I have 100 reasons to still care about you, but 101 reasons to wish I didn’t.

I have wanted to go back to you 100 times, but I’ve had 101 reasons to stop myself.

I have 100 reasons to let you walk out of my life, but 101 reasons why I don’t want you to go.

I have 100 reasons to be angry with you, but 101 reasons I can’t hold onto that anger.

I have 100 reasons to hate you, but 101 reasons why I can’t.

I have 100 reasons to just let you go, but 1 reason I can’t: I still miss you.

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What it Means to Be Single

Yesterday, after a very tearful therapy session about feeling lonely, my therapist suggested writing down what it truly means to be single. At first, all I could think of was being alone. I couldn’t see past that. Being single, for most of us, is never easy, especially when most of your friends are in happy relationships. It’s hard not to envy them and to keep yourself from being bitter. It’s hard to feel like you will never stop being a third wheel. It’s hard to think you will ever find someone out there for you. You get so tired of people telling you the right guy will come along, especially when you’ve been single as long as I have. You get tired of being the odd number, the only one without an “and” attached with your name. You get tired of hearing your friends talk about how well their love lives are going. Most of all, you get tired of the guys who play with your already fragile heart. As Carrie Bradshaw once said, “It’s really hard to walk in a single woman’s shoes. That’s why we need really special ones now and then; to make the walk more fun.” Being single can be really hard, and is something I have struggled with for a long time. However, when I really thought about what it truly means to be single and channeled my inner Carrie, I was able to come up with a long list of the benefits. Here’s just a few of my favorites:

Figuring out what you want: Being single gives you a lot of time to think about what kind of relationship you truly want. It helps prevent you from settling, because you have had so much more time than others to design the perfect person for you. This also may help you know it better when you actually find it… I’m hoping.

No boyfriend (or girlfriend) drama: Listening to people prattle about every argument they have with their significant others will make you beyond thankful that you don’t have to deal with it. You have no one to have this type of drama with, because you’re single! While your friend is arguing with her boyfriend on what to make for dinner, you are free to make whatever you want and eat as much as you want. You also don’t spend all your time missing your boyfriend or girlfriend, because you don’t have one.

Flirting with the cute guy (or girl) at the bar: While I understand people in relationships sometimes still flirt with people who aren’t their significant others, you can do so without ever feeling guilty or worrying about hurting your partner. Let’s be honest; no one likes watching their person flirt with someone else. But as a single person, you don’t need to worry about it, because you belong to no one. So while all your friends may be drooling other the total babe at the bar, you get to be the one to try and pursue something with him.

More appreciation for nice guys: It’s a sad truth that single girls tend to appreciate a guy’s sweet actions than girls in relationships, because we simply aren’t used to it nor do we expect it. While a girl expects her boyfriend to buy her a drink and open her door, us single girls are usually caught off guard when someone does it for us. We are a lot more grateful for this than girls who get the treatment all the time.

Planning your future around you and only you: It’s impossible not to include your significant other in your plans for the future, but there comes a point when you may be planning around only them. You give up your hopes and dreams on the chance that you have already found your forever. When you’re single, especially at a young age, no one decides your future but you. You don’t have to factor anyone in to your plans. If you want to move across the country or travel the world, you don’t have to worry about how your partner will react: You can just do it. You decide your own path, and make it completely your own. This is one of the biggest benefits to being single. You have your whole life to find love, so it can wait until you’ve built the life you’ve always dreamed of.

You have no one to answer to: No one can tell you how to act. You don’t have to prove yourself to anyone or worry that you aren’t good enough. You can be as weird as you want without worrying what your person will think. You have no one to answer to but you, which means you can make your own choices without worrying about what he or she will think. You have a sense freedom that people in relationships can’t even remember.

You have more time to dedicate to other things: Whether they are wish their partners, talking to them on the phone, or thinking about them, people in relationships spend a lot of time on their significant others, as they should. However, as a single person, you have much more free time to do things you enjoy. You can spend more time with your friends, family, or yourself. The time you may have spent on the phone with your girlfriend, you can spend playing video games with your friends. The time you would have spent obsessing over a fight, you can spend studying or doing something you enjoy. You have more time to explore different things, and do the things you don’t have much time for.

Finding who you are: Being single is when you find out who you really are. It’s also the best time to work on improving yourself, because you can be sure that’s you’re doing it only for you. You have a lot of time to figure out who you are and who you want to be. This will prevent you from ending up with the wrong guy. You start to learn just how strong you are and just how much you are capable of.

You learn to love yourself first: When you’re single, it’s easy to feel unlovable. The only way to make up for that is to figure out how to love yourself. When you’re single, you discover all the things to love about yourself without having someone else point them out to you. You will be happier and live a more fulfilled life, regardless of your relationship status. You take the time to make sure you are ready for a real relationship so you don’t ruin the one that could be perfect. They say you have to love yourself before you can love anyone else. I call crap on that, because some of the people who are most loving are those who hate themselves. However, I do believe that you have to love yourself before you can let anyone else truly love you.

You learn how to be comfortable alone: No one is better at being alone than the single person, which can be very beneficial when you do get into a relationship. You don’t have to be clingy, because you are perfectly happy spending some time apart. You don’t depend on someone else to make you happy, because you’ve already been doing it all by yourself. This is the biggest benefit to being single: discovering how wonderful being alone can be.

This post isn’t about who has the better deal: single or committed. It’s not about making those in relationships feel bad about themselves. The post isn’t about proving single people are better. This post is for those people who feel lost and alone, because they are single. This post is for the people who think being single means the same thing for being unlovable. This post is for the people who feel that they will never be complete as long as they are single. This post is for the people like me.

Being single isn’t something to take lightly, but it also isn’t something to get down on yourself for. Being single doesn’t mean no one wants you, like some seem to believe. Being single means taking your time to decide how you want your life to be and who you want to spend it with. It means learning to fall in love with yourself. It means discovering the person you want to be. I know it’s not easy, believe me I know. It’s something I’m still struggling with, but at the same time, I know that I will look back some day and be thankful for all the time I’ve spent being single. I get to experience things in a much different way than those in relationships. I will be better at helping my kids, should they struggle with the same things. Being single has made me fiercely independent, confident, and bold. I don’t need a man to be happy (although it’d sure be nice), and there is nothing wrong with that. Never let someone else make you feel inferior for being perfectly happy all by yourself.

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