If You Bring a Guy to Your Home

If you bring a guy to your home, he’ll lay down in your bed. Then he’ll say he needs to throw up. When he goes to throw up, he’ll get it all over your bathroom before laying back down. Then he’ll say he’s going to take a shower. He’ll get back up, turn your shower on, and stay in there until you start to worry. When you get up to check on him, you’ll find him sitting down, passed out on the floor of your shower. You’ll go back to your room and try to figure out what to do, and you’ll hear him finally step out of the tub. When he doesn’t come back into the room, you’ll check on him again. The shower will still be running, and he’ll be passed out, naked on your bathroom floor. So you’ll shut the water off, and cover him with a blanket, making sure not to peek at his private parts. You’ll start to panic about what to do, so you’ll call your friend to help you. She’ll tell you that there’s nothing anyone can do and to just let him sleep it off on your floor. While you’re still on the phone, he’ll stumble into the room and fall into your bed and pass out again. You’ll make sure the blanket is tucked between you and him, and you’ll even take off your shirt so maybe he won’t feel so embarrassed when he wakes up. Eventually, you’ll fall asleep and wake up the next morning, afraid of what you’ll find. He’ll get up to put some clothes back on, and you’ll be sure not look. He’ll use your toothbrush to brush his teeth and then he’ll lay back down beside you, and you won’t feel awkward at all. You’ll cuddle and kiss the morning away, until you have to get up and go to work. You’ll feel excited and happy and spend all day thinking about him; you won’t even mind when you finally get home and have to clean up all his puke.

You’ll spend the next week talking with him and getting flustered when he comes over. You’ll be amazed that it’s actually going so well. You’ll get into your first argument with him, but it will turn out okay. He’ll tell he wants you, and you’ll believe him, so you’ll end up staying the night in his bed. You’ll spend another morning in his arms, and he’ll talk vaguely about a future with you. You’ll start to think maybe this will be the one that finally works out and start to let your guard down.

You’ll go to work, and he’ll leave for the weekend, and when he comes back, he’ll come over to your house again. When he comes over, you’ll be cooking him the dinner you’ve spent all day stressing about. While you’re cooking dinner, he’ll watch a baseball game and barely acknowledge you. You’ll try to make forced conversation, but it won’t go anywhere, so you’ll try to just let it be. You’ll serve him the food, and sit mostly in silence while he keeps watching the game. After he eats, he’ll get up to leave. When he closes your door, a part of you will feel like it’s over, but you won’t know why. You’ll try to tell yourself you’re just being crazy, but you’ll end up on your couch with silent tears streaming down your face.

When you wake up the next morning, you’ll feel a little better, but then you’ll have a really hard day. You’ll ask if you can see him, and he’ll say you can’t, because he’s leaving town tonight. Then he’ll tell you, hours later, that he got hurt. You’ll be kind and caring, but you’ll worry about him and hope he’s okay. You’ll try to talk to him the next day, but he’ll be distant and vague, and then suddenly stop responding to you all together. So, you’ll wait until morning, and try again, and you’ll end up making plans with him. You’ll be eager to see him all day, and wait all night for him to say he’s coming over, but he’ll never show.

You’ll tell him the next day that if he doesn’t want to see you anymore, he can just tell you, but he’ll say that’s not true. You’ll try to ask what’s going on, and he’ll tell you he wants to take things slow. You’ll say that’s okay, and think things will get better again, but he’ll just go back to ignoring you. You’ll keep asking him if he wants out, and he’ll deny it every time, before going back to bailing on your plans and ignoring your messages. You’ll try to talk to him again, and you’ll think you’ve solved the problem with him, but then nothing will change. You’ll spend day after wondering what you did to cause him to change his mind. You’ll lay awake a t night and go over every conversation you ever had, trying to figure out what you did that was so wrong.

One day, he’ll message you to tell you he might be moving away. You’ll break down and cry and call your best friend, and she’ll tell you that everything is okay, because =, after all, there’s a chance he’ll stay. You’ll ask to see him that night, and he’ll say he’ll text you to come over. You’ll lay there for two hours, your phone clutched in your hands, waiting for him to message you. You’ll realize he ever will, so you’ll get hurt and angry, and when he tells you the next day he fell asleep, you’ll try your best to just ignore him.

You’ll drive two hours away, but all you’ll be thinking about is him. You’ll try to be strong, but you’ll break down and message him. He’ll actually respond and you’ll talk a little. You’ll ask to see him when you get home, and he’ll say you can’t because he’ll already be gone. When you get home the next day, he’ll still be in town. You’ll pretend it doesn’t bother you and try to give him the benefit of the doubt, but deep down, you’ll be hurt.

The next day, you’ll see he’s just leaving, but he’ll actually start to talk to you. You’ll forget about being upset that he lied and hope that maybe whatever issue was there has disappeared. You’ll talk for the next few days, and it’ll feel like it did before. He’ll suggest hanging out with you when he gets home, and of course you’ll agree. When he gets home, you’ll wait to hear from him and be excited to see him, but the hours will tick by and you won’t hear a word from him. When you finally cave and ask him about it, he’ll tell you it’s your fault and ignore you the rest of the night.

You’ll stop responding to his messages for a while and start to think maybe all of the other guys were right. You’ll start to think about how you really are worthless, and maybe your ex wasn’t lying when he said you could never do any better. You’ll convince yourself you deserve to be treated this way and that you shouldn’t even try, because you are destined to be alone for the rest of your life. You’ll decide to give it one last try, and send him a message one last time. You’ll put your heart into that message and shake when you hit send. You’ll see that he’s opened it and anxiously wait to see what he’ll say. He won’t even respond, and it’ll make you feel like you’re falling apart.

You’ll finally work up the courage to delete him, and as a few weeks pass, you’ll feel yourself starting to let go. You’ll finally stop thinking about him every minute of every day, and wondering what he’s doing and if he’s thinking about you too. When you’re finally starting to feel a little better, he’ll message you again. He’ll tell you he’s sorry and a little bit about what’s going been on. He’ll tell you he might be moving in two days, and you won’t know how to respond. You’ll let his message sit all day and into the night, until the anger fades, the sadness passes, and you can think normally again. You’ll give a kind hearted response and then wait to hear if he’s moving away or not. He won’t just tell you on his own, so your anxiety will soar until it makes you physically sick to the point that you have to leave work, because you can’t even sit straight due to the knots in your stomach. You’ll cave once again and ask him, and he’ll tell you he’s not leaving. You’ll feel all the tension you’ve been carrying finally release and you’ll let yourself fall into thinking everything will still work out.

You’ll re-add him, and he’ll snap you almost every day. At first you won’t want to reply, but eventually you’ll give in. You’ll ask him if he wants to go for a walk, knowing full well he’ll probably say no.

He says he would, but he’s leaving soon, but once again, he won’t leave until later the next day. He’ll keep sending you messages, and you’ll keep responding, and even start to be the one who reaches out. Then he’ll stop messaging you first, so you’ll start sending him things you hope he’ll respond to. When he doesn’t, you’ll feel a deep sadness that you’ll do your best to ignore. When he does, you’ll get excited and try to figure out how to keep the conversation from ending.

One night, you’ll go out with a friend to keep yourself from staring at your phone. You’ll run into him and his friends, because of course he’s there. He won’t acknowledge you, but the second you sit down across the bar, he’ll send you a message that you won’t be able to keep from responding to. Then he’ll ignore you the rest of the night, and you’ll start to feel lost. When you get home, you’ll lay in bed and curse your perfect memory, as you play every moment over and over in your head. You’ll try to tell yourself to be patient, and that everything will be okay, but you’ll still lie awake, trying to figure out what you did to make things go this way.

You’ll keep messaging him because you can’t help yourself, but you’ll feel terrible  because of it. You’ll find new ways to distract yourself from the hurt and will even open up to your coworkers about it. They’ll tell you that you deserve better, and you’ll explain why you don’t. They’ll tell you that you need to talk to him about this because it will only get worse. You’ll tell them you’re afraid to because you don’t want to lose him completely, but they’ll remind you that being alone is better than having only half of a man.

You’ll decide to give it one last shot, and ask him if he wants to hang out with you over the weekend. He’ll tell you he’ll be out of town, and you won’t be able to keep yourself from wondering if that’s actually the truth. You’ll think about all the times he told you the same thing, only to find out it was a lie. You’ll think about how this whole situation has been eating you up inside. You’ll think about all the guys that came before him, who treated you like you were nothing, and you’ll start to wonder if maybe you are. You’ll assure yourself it’s better to know, so you’ll send him a message that lays out all your thoughts and feelings. You’ll tell him you understand, but you have feelings too. You’ll tell him you’ll go slow and do anything else he needs you to, but you can’t do this weird in-between thing anymore. He’ll tell you he’s not ready to date, but you’ll know what that really means. You’ll remember he tried to date another girl not so long ago, and think that maybe there was more to that story than he told you. You’ll realize he just doesn’t want you, and you’ll feel yourself start to break. He’ll tell you what you’re thinking isn’t true, and that it’s him and not you, but you just won’t believe what he says anymore.

You’ll barely make it through the door of your house, before being consumed by tears. He’ll ask if you can remain friends, and you’ll tell him you can’t because it’s just too hard. Your sobs will tear through you, and you’ll feel like you can’t breathe. You’ll wonder why you even tried in the first place. You’ll hear a voice in your head telling you how worthless you really are, and you’ll start to think about how you’ll never find anyone else. You’ll think about all your friends and how happy they seem to be with their partners. You’ll think about how tired you are of being the single one and how you are just so sick of being alone. You’ll ask yourself why you dared to hope when you should have known better. You’ll think about how you’re nothing and feel like something is crushing your chest. You’ll lay there and cry, desperately wishing it had worked out this time.

Your best friend will insist on coming over, so you’ll try but fail to pull yourself together. She’ll listen while you talk and cry, and say the thoughts coursing through your brain, and you’ll suddenly realize that they sound insane. She’ll tell you that there’s nothing wrong with you, and some boys are just cowards. She’ll get you to crack a smile, and you’ll start to feel a little better. You’ll dry your tears and wipe the smeared makeup off your cheeks. You’ll get up and brush yourself off, because deep down you know you’ve already survived a hell of a lot worse. Your best friend will stay with you until you’re ready for bed, while another one will make you laugh with all the crazy things she says. They’ll both remind you that it takes a lot more than one, immature boy to break your heart. But even though you know you’ll be fine, you’ll go to bed alone and lay awake, asking yourself why you chose to bring a guy to your home…

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Being Safe While Living Alone

I’ve been living alone for almost a year now, and although I’ve mostly enjoyed it, I have also learned to take some precautions. While living alone can be very refreshing, it does come with some risks. I often think about how I could go missing or have some sort of accident at home, and it would probably take days for someone to notice. Over the past year, I have learned a few tricks that make me feel a little more relaxed and a lot more secure about living by myself. These things aren’t necessarily just for those who live alone, because I think pretty much anyone could benefit from them, but I do think they can help those who are living by themselves feel a little safer about their living situation.

Before I launch into that, I want to give a little background on the things that are going to make this list, for the lack of a better word, biased. Many of the tips I have looked up online involve having the locks changed, installing a chain lock, and investing in a security system. I rent an apartment, and all of those things are not an option. The locks are not changed every time someone new moves in, I am not allowed to install any sort of lock, especially one that only locks on the inside, and I am not allowed to install my own security system. Therefore, a good portion of the recommended tips are not possible for me and aren’t possible for a lot of people. If you are able to do these things, that’s great! But I will not be including them in my list for the above reasons. With that said, here is my list of tips for living alone.

If you have sliding doors or large sliding windows, put a board in the bottom track. Just about any department store sells some type of board, so all you need is one close to the length of the track. It doesn’t need to fit exactly; just make sure when the door or window meets the board, the gap isn’t wide enough for someone to fit through. You can also use old broom handles, thick dowels, or anything else that is hard enough to withstand someone pushing the door or window against it. Patio doors are actually quite easy to break into and everyone knows windows aren’t the most secure (especially cheap apartment ones), so the board is an added security measure that makes it a lot harder to break in.

If you rent, get to know your landlord and keep them in the loop. If I’m going out of town for a week or longer, I let my landlord know. This way, she has a heads up that my apartment is supposed to be empty and she keeps an extra eye on it. I also keep my landlord in the loop with major things going on in my life. For example, I let her know when my job changed and what my work hours would look like. This way, I have another person who can look out for me and could potentially notice if something seems off. I have also worked very hard to get on her good side and earn her trust, so if there is an issue with the apartment or with someone who lives in the complex, I know she will listen to me and take my concerns seriously.

Make friends with your mailman. If something does happen to you, your mailman may be one of the first to notice that something is wrong. If you suddenly go weeks without getting your mail or there has been a package sitting outside your door for a few days, chances are the mailman will notice. I’ve lived in the same apartment complex for the past four years, and I’ve gotten to know my mailman quite well in that time. When my roommate and I would be gone for summer break, the mailman would notice that we hadn’t been getting our mail and would double check with our landlord, just to make sure there wasn’t a bigger issue. This is also where keeping your landlord in the loop comes in handy. Go introduce yourself to your mailman and get to know them. Say hi to them whenever you see them and be friendly. A little kindness can go a long way, and it’s always a good idea to have an extra person looking out for you.

Tell your friends when you are meeting someone new or going out alone. When you don’t have a roommate to make sure you make it home safely from a date or a night of drinking, it’s a good idea to let your friends in on your whereabouts (I also allow some of my closer friends to see my location on their Snap-maps). If I let my friends know I’m planning to go out alone, they can keep an eye on me to make sure I’m safe or check in with me. If I ever went on a date (maybe someday), I’ll let them know who I’m going with, where we are going, and when I get home. Again, it’s always important to keep people in the loop, especially when you live alone. When I’m out with my friends, I let them know when I make it home, so that they know I made it there safely.

Lock your door when you’re not able to keep an eye on it. I know most people lock their doors when they go to sleep, but it’s also a good idea to lock your door whenever you’re not around it. I lock my door when I have music cranked up or when I’m not really paying attention, when I’m taking a shower or bath, or when I’m lying in bed. Anytime I can’t keep an eye on who might be coming into my apartment, especially when I’m not expecting anyone, I keep my door locked.

Keep your phone in the same room as you. I know most people almost always have their phones on them, but there are times when you go to take a shower and maybe leave your phone to charge in your bedroom, or something similar to that. If you live alone, keep your phone near you. If you have your phone in the bathroom and fall in the shower, you don’t have very far to go to call for help. If someone happens to break in while you’re inside your apartment (which does happen, believe me), you don’t have to go hunting for your phone if you have it with you. You don’t need to have it glued to your side, but it’s a good idea to at least keep your phone in the same room as you.

Give a spare key to a friend, preferably one that lives in the same town/ area. This is so much safer than a hide-a-key, because this way your spare is actually with someone, so there’s less of a chance of a stranger finding it and using it. If you give a spare to a trusted friend, if an emergency situation arises, you don’t have to either figure out how to get them a key or explain where the spare is. I’ve had to leave town for an emergency, and needed someone to feed my dog. It’s so much easier to coordinate this when someone I trust already has a spare key. I feel safer knowing someone has my spare key rather than having it sit under a flowerpot. I also keep a second spare in my house, just in case I need to give it to someone different for whatever reason.

Save your local police department’s non-emergency number in your phone. This is something I never thought I would need until I did. I’ve called this number for a variety of reasons, and it’s paid off every time. 911 is great, but it can take forever to get connected to your local law enforcement; this way, if I need to reach the local police department, I have the number for their specific office. In all the time I’ve lived in this complex, I’ve never needed to call 911 (thankfully), but, as I said, I have used the non-emergency number for a variety of reasons (usually intense fights in my parking lot). Look up the number for your local law enforcement and save it. If you never use it, no harm done, but if the time does come that you need it, you’ll be glad you didn’t need to spend the time looking it up.

Keep a hidden cash stash. Keep a stack of around $100-$200 of cash hidden somewhere only you know. If your apartment ever gets broken into, or if your wallet ever gets stolen or lost, you have access to some money. I once had fraudulent activity on my debit card and my credit card in the same week. Both accounts were frozen because of this, so I had no access to my money. Thankfully, I had some cash on me, but since then, I’ve made sure to keep a secret stash, just in case.

Get renter’s insurance. It’s usually not that expensive- I have mine added to my car insurance and it’s only $6 a month. You never know when you might need it. When my apartment was broken into a few years ago, I didn’t have it and it sucked! I have it now, and while I hope I never need it, I know I’ll be happy to have it if I ever need it again. Most landlords and rental companies only have insurance for damage to their property, so renter’s insurance helps protect yours.

If possible, get a pet. Not only do pets serve as great companions, but they can also add an extra layer of protection. My dog may be a giant baby, but a random person doesn’t know that. He’s big and has a deep, intimidating bark, and he will charge at strangers in the house if I’m not around. When someone attempted to break into my apartment a few months ago and again last week, I’m convinced that it was my dog’s loud bark that scared them away. I also am pretty positive that if I had had my dog when my apartment did get broken into, he would have heard them come in and would have alerted me that someone was inside and probably would have also scared them away. I know some places don’t allow pets, but if they do, it’s not a bad idea to get one. They are great for loneliness too! There’s no way I could live alone if I didn’t have my dog.

As much as we like to think bad things and accidents don’t happen to us, the fact is that they do. My two roommates and I were all home, sleeping when our apartment was broken into. In the year I’ve alone, I’ve had two break in attempts (that I know of). Bad things happen, and no one is immune to them. It’s always better to be safe now than sorry later, because there is no way to know when bad things or accidents might happen. Do what you need to do to protect yourself, and stay safe.

My Top 10 Unpopular Opinions

Everyone has opinions that are deemed less than popular by majority of others, and while some people take them way too seriously or personally, I think, for the most part, they are very intriguing. As long as they aren’t being used to belittle someone, they are very good conversation starters. Something about uncommon opinions is just weirdly interesting and sometimes really funny, but they can also sometimes make you think differently or see something in a new light. For this post, I have decided to stick to the more fun, lighthearted things to base my opinions on, so here are my top 10 unpopular opinions.

  1. Steak is not that good.

While I do enjoy a nice medium well or well done steak once in a while, I have never understood the hype around it. I’ve just never been that impressed by it, so I don’t understand why people make it out to be such a big deal. I think it’s over priced and over rated, and if given the choice, I would eat a really good brat over a steak any day.

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  1. Baseball is the most boring sport that has ever happened.

Talk about a snooze-fest! I often wonder if baseball players are even tired after a game, because they don’t do anything 75% of the time. I do not get the thrill with this sport; no one hits each other, no one gets tackled, and nothing happens. I despise watching baseball and do not get how people can sit and watch it for hours. I will gladly stick with watching football.

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  1. The second Dumbledore in the Harry Potter movies is way better than the first.

When I read the books, I always pictured Dumbledore as having a strong voice and a commanding presence. I thought the first Dumbledore was incredibly weak and was very disappointed in the casting choice. Michael Gambon’s Dumbledore was exactly what I pictured in my head. While I understand why people prefer the first one, I don’t get why people hate on the second one so much. I thought he was phenomenal and exactly the Dumbledore the story needed.

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  1. Buffalo sauce is nasty.

To paraphrase on of my good friends from high school, “I straight up don’t like it.”

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  1. Beyoncé is wildly overrated.

Every Beyoncé song I hear is just her singing the same word or phrase over and over again. While I think she has great voice and some really good songs, overall, I don’t think she’s very impressive. Her lyrics are shallow and her performances are boring. Don’t get me wrong- she’s a very beautiful woman and has a gorgeous voice. I just don’t quite get the hype surrounding her.

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  1. Olive Garden is not impressive.

While we’re on the subject of things that are overrated, let’s talk about Olive Garden. First of all, the fat that pasta is crazy expensive in restaurants baffles me, because it is one of the cheapest things to make. Olive Garden is insanely overpriced and their food is mediocre at best. I can make some bomb ass pasta for dirt cheap, so Olive Garden is not impressive to me.

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  1. Van Gogh’s paintings are ugly.

I know he’s a super famous artist and could obviously paint better than I could ever hope to, but I think his paintings are ugly. I don’t like his brush work and he uses the same color palette for every single one of his pieces, so I just don’t think his paintings are that impressive. When I say this, a lot of people bring up Starry Night, but my original statement still stands. I don’t think Starry Night is all that great. There are way better artists out there that I feel are overshadowed by Van Gogh’s unimpressive work.

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  1. Country music is fire.

I get that everybody has styles of music they prefer over others, but I don’t get why people hate country music so vehemently. I, personally, love it. I like music that I can hear individual instruments in and understand what the singer is saying. Nowadays, it seems like country music is the only genre that I can find these things in. I love me my Tim McGraw, Keith Urban, and Carrie Underwood, and I will never apologize for it.

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  1. The Princess Bride is a stupid movie.

I watched this movie for the first time when I was a junior in college, and I couldn’t even finish it because it was so bad. Why do so many people love this movie!? Someone please explain it to me, because I just don’t get it. This film should win an award for being the most overrated movie that has ever happened.

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  1. Pineapple is NOT the problem with Hawaiian pizza.

Whether or not pineapple belongs on pizza has been a heated debate for well over a year, and I, for one, don’t give a rat’s ass. If you like it on your pizza, good for you. If not, oh well. With that said, I do not like Hawaiian pizza, but not because of the pineapple. The grossest part of Hawaiian pizza, or any pizza for that matter, is Canadian bacon. It doesn’t even look appetizing and it ruins everything it’s put on. Pepperoni pizza, however, is BOMB with pineapple added to it.

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I encourage you all to share your unpopular opinions with others, because it can break the ground of a really fun conversation. Whether you agree with any of mine or not, I hope you at least cracked a smile while reading this. Never let anyone tell you your unpopular opinions are wrong! Keep on being your bad self, and, in the wise words of Kevin G, “Don’t let the haters stop you from doing your thang!”

BONUS OPINION!

James Patterson sucks.

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Amazing Things Our Bodies Do

If you’ve read some of my past posts, you’ve probably noticed I write a lot about how we all need to accept ourselves and how we should never stop working on improving ourselves. Loving yourself is a constant struggle for most, myself included, and it can be exhausting when you feel like you are constantly at war with yourself. I’ve written posts about my flaws, the things I hate most about myself, and the things I love. I’ve posted about my quirks, my mishaps, and my mental health. I’ve written multiple times about my boobs and the struggles and insecurities I’ve faced because of them. It’s no secret that for me, and for most people, loving yourself is really hard, and more often than not, we struggle the most with accepting our physical selves. If you’re like me, you’ve probably sat in front of a mirror on multiple occasions, and torn your reflection to shreds. You take inventory of everything you hate about yourself and all the things you wish you could change. Maybe you avoid the mirror all together. The worst part of this is that it will probably never end; some days you’ll love yourself completely and then the next, you’ll find a hundred different reasons to hate your body. It’s an ongoing battle that can be so draining that sometimes we just don’t have the energy to fight back. On days that I’m too tired to come up with anything that I like about my physical body, I’ve found that it helps me to instead think of all the amazing things my body can do.

While I understand there are thousands of physical illnesses that cause your body to work against you, I still believe that, for the most part, your body is on your side. Your body fights like hell, sometimes even against your own mind, to keep you alive. No matter how many people turn their back on you and abandon you, your body will never desert you. When it feels like the world is against you, your body is on your side and wants what’s best for you. While you may be unhappy with how you look, here are some amazing things the human body does for us.

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It stops us from bleeding

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When we bleed, our bodies respond by stopping it. When a cut opens up, our blood cells rush to the site and give a sort of group hug to stop anymore blood from escaping. The coolest part is that it’s only the beginning of the healing process. Think about how much work your body has to do for this. It has to recognize that it’s losing blood, figure out where this is happening, and then signal the blood cells to move into formation. The blood cells then rush to the site and squeeze together to get the bleeding to stop. No matter how many times we cut ourselves, whether it’s an accident or not, our bodies will work to stop the bleeding.

The skin heals itself

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Have you ever stopped to think about how unbelievably awesome this is? If wood splits or plastic cracks or paper tears, that’s it; they cannot fix these issues all on their own. Skin can. When we peel off the top layer of skin, it grows back. When we get a cut or a scratch, the skin grows to close the gap. No matter how much you hate the way your skin looks, it will still work to heal itself. If you self-injure, your skin will close the cuts, no matter how many times you reopen them. Sometimes our skin creates a thicker layer using scar tissue just for added protection. The skin doesn’t seem to care how mean we are to it; it will still work tirelessly to fix itself.

Pupils change size depending on light

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We don’t have to consciously tell our eyes to adjust to light- they just do it! When it’s bright out, our pupils contract to protect the sensitive cells in our retinas. When it’s dark, they enlarge to let more light in so we can see. Our eyes have their own complex defense system that we don’t have to actively train, and I think the pupils are the most interesting part of that system.

White blood cells devour things that are dangerous

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White blood cells are more hard core than we can ever hope to be. They are probably the strongest defense system known to man; even stronger than the MN Vikings defensive line. White blood cells don’t wait for pathogens to come to them; they go looking for them and can even squeeze out of blood vessels and into the tissue to beat infections that occur there. They engulf and kill more threats to our bodies than we can count. White blood cells give new meaning to the words “constant vigilance” because they are literally always ready to defend and protect us. There is nothing else in this world that is more dedicated to defending you than your white blood cells. They will work to protect you even when you feel like you aren’t worth saving.

It regulates its own temperature

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I think this process really shows how hard our body fights for us to stay alive. It doesn’t just crank up the AC or the heat; it balances body fluids, maintains salt concentrations, controls the release of chemicals and hormones, regulates sweat glands, and so many other processes I can’t even begin to pretend to understand to keep our body temperature where it needs to be. We sweat when we need to cool off and we shiver when we need to warm up. This system even fights threats to our health by raising the temperature to cause a fever to kill whatever is making us sick. It’s fascinating that our bodies go through this complex process constantly, and we usually aren’t even aware of it. The fact that our bodies just know when to warm us up or cool us down is mind boggling.

Broken bones fix themselves

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Like our skin, bones also know how to heal themselves. When we break a bone, our blood once again springs into action to form a protective clot around the fracture. Inside this clot, certain cells clean up the bone fragments left behind. A callus then forms over the fracture site to hold the bone in place and protect it while it heals. Inside the callus, new bone cells are created to repair the break. The bone then remodels itself by breaking down any extra tissue to return the bone to its original shape. It blows my mind that something as solid and strong as a bone can repair itself when it’s broken. How many things in this world can actually put themselves back together after being snapped in half? I think bones can also serve as a beautiful metaphor for life; when you feel broken, instead of trying to put all the broken pieces back together, just clean up the shards and create new pieces to fill the empty space. It can take a long time, but, like the bone, you are capable of rebuilding yourself.

It filters out toxins

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If you’re anything like me, you put a lot of toxic crap into your body. Luckily, our livers and kidneys are hard workers that filter all that crap out of us. You can partake in a three day drinking binge (guilty), and your body will just continuously filter out the chemicals and impurities. I’m not even going to begin to try to describe how this process works, but I think we could learn something from our bodies’ filtration system- as you go through life, you have to filter out the crap and focus on the good. If our livers and kidneys can do it, so can our minds.

The liver regrows

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While we’re on the topic of livers, it completely blows my mind that the liver can just regrow. It’s the only organ that can do this, and you only need 25% of the original for it to grow back to full size. I put my liver through a lot of trouble, so it’s comforting for me to know that it can heal itself. I remember being a little kid and learning that a starfish can regrow its arm and thinking about how unbelievable that was. Little did I know that humans have an organ that can do the same thing. I mean, if I’m going to continuously damage a vital organ, it might as well be the one that can heal itself, right?

The heart just beats

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Have you ever taken the time to really think about how awesome the heart is? The thing that keeps us alive is the size of our fists and constantly beats (hopefully) to keep us going. You don’t have to consciously keep telling it to beat, it just does. On top of that, our heart pumps about 2,000 gallons of blood each day! Think about how much that is! No matter how much you may feel like dying, your heart will keep working its butt off to keep you alive. You can sit and tell it to stop beating, but it won’t- it will keep on fighting for you. If that isn’t love, then I don’t know what is.

We breathe

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9 times out of 10, we breathe without having to think about doing it. It seems like such a quick, simple process, but our lungs do a lot of complex work in a very short amount of time. We breathe in one type of molecule, and breathe out one completely different. Most of the time, the first thing a baby does when it’s born is take in a huge breath to let out a wail. Breathing not only keeps us alive, but it can also relax us. When you’re trying to calm someone down, the first thing you tell them is to take a deep breath. Some days, when I feel absolutely worthless, I give myself credit for simply breathing. When things seem unbelievably difficult, I tell myself to just keep breathing. I breathe to remind myself that I am alive. I am here and I matter. The same is true for everyone else in this world.

I don’t know if there is anyone in this world that likes 100% of their body 100% of the time. I could go on and on for days about the things I wish were different about my body, and I’m sure you could too. There are days when I hate the person I see in the mirror and cannot think of a single thing I genuinely like about myself. Those are the days I force myself to think about all the amazing things my body does for me, even when I’m not very nice to it.

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Our bodies work every moment of every day to keep us alive. They fight for us when no one else does. They are there for us when no one else is. Our bodies love us unconditionally, and never even ask for us to love them in return. We can scream and cry about how much we hate our bodies, and they will still fight for us. If our bodies can heal themselves in so many different ways, doesn’t that mean our minds can too? Our bodies remind us that we are worth loving; that our lives are worth fighting for. I think it’s time we start loving them back. You don’t have to love every single part of yourself every day, but you can take some time to think about all the amazing, unbelievable things your body can do and be grateful for that. Thank you, body, for keeping me alive today.

Things Taken for Granted While Living at Home

I want to start this off with a small disclaimer: I 100% understand that there are a lot of people who come from abusive, toxic, and/or unhealthy homes who will not agree with this post. I am in no way undermining their experiences, I am just sharing my personal experience and thoughts, and I am in no way trying to offend anyone. With that said, it’s story time!

While I was in high school, I couldn’t wait to leave home. While my life wasn’t awful, I did live in a household that tended to be quite hostel more often than not. Many times, it felt like you could cut the tension with a knife. I was pumped when the time came for me to leave home. After that came years of living in a dorm and apartments with a variety of roommates, which was sometimes extremely stressful and made me feel miserable, so you can imagine how excited I was to start living alone.

Don’t get me wrong, majority of the time I do genuinely like living alone. I like having an entire apartment to myself, being able to do what I want when I want, and being  able to leave things where it’s convenient for me. At this point, I’m not sure if I could ever go back to living with someone; it would have to be someone I really like. With that said, as there is with all things, there are downsides to living alone.

You have to do ALL the chores

If you’re like me and grew up in a home where you had designated chores to do, you probably thought they were the worst thing ever. My daily chores consisted of setting, clearing, and wiping off the kitchen table at supper time and vacuuming the kitchen after dinner (yes, my kitchen/dining room had carpet- can you say 1970’s!?) and I HATED it. Now, however, I would love nothing more than to have that be my only chore to do. Living alone means doing EVERYTHING on your own. I do the dishes, the vacuuming, the laundry, all of it! I have to do all the cleaning because there is no one else to do it! I don’t know if I ever thanked my mom for doing all the housework stuff she did, but I am now.

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There’s no one to grab things for you

Growing up, I had a little brother I could make get things for me, so that I didn’t have to get up. I could yell for my mom to bring me something until she got so annoyed, she’d do it just to shut me up. I lived with one of my roommates for three years, and I would literally wait for her to get up so I could ask her to grab me something (to be fair, she did the same to me- it usually depended on who got up first). Now that I live alone, if I want something, I have to get up and get it because there’s no one else to get it for me. I have not yet trained my dog to grab my phone charger, so that means I have to go upstairs to grab it myself. It’s a minor inconvenience, but definitely something I miss at times.

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You have to pay for everything

I don’t know if you all know this, but things are EXPENSIVE! I cannot believe I EVER had the nerve to say, “It’s only $20.” Nowadays, it’s more like, “I cannot believe that is 5 whole dollars!” Anything I want for myself, for my apartment, for work, or for anything else, I have to buy myself. If I can’t afford it, I don’t get it. I either save money for it or live without it. And that doesn’t even include all the bills! Rent, car payments, insurance, internet, student loans, the list just never ends. I get paid, and I feel rich for about five seconds, then I pay bills and buy groceries and I’m back to being broke. Being an adult comes with a lot of expenses I didn’t agree to. I miss when $20 made me feel like I had so much money, AND I could spend all of it on whatever I wanted. Now, I have to think economically and make fiscally responsible decisions. This is especially hard when I have fine wine tastes but have the budget for cheap beer. This is not fun for me, and having to pay for everything is really interfering with me living my best life.

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You have to schedule all of your own appointments

This is probably the biggest shock of adulthood. Scheduling appointments should not be that hard, but for some reason it is. The hardest part is remembering to do the scheduling; I usually remember at night when everything is closed. When I actually do remember, it’s so difficult to find a day and time that they have available that actually works with my schedule. Then to top it off, I have to remember when I scheduled it for- I almost missed an appointment a few days ago because I completely forgot about it. Luckily, I remembered last minute and made it just in time. I miss when my mom just scheduled them, told me when they were, and then usually drove me to them. Or even in college when I could make my roommate do it for me. Scheduling your own appointments is honestly the worst.

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You have to do all the grocery shopping

I HATE grocery shopping so much!!! I miss the days when I could open the fridge and it would magically be filled with food. Now, if I want something, I have to go out and buy it. Never mind the fact that I usually forget a vital ingredient or something I desperately need (like the deodorant I forgot to buy and am now out of). There’s also those times when I look at something like milk, and I’m like, “No, I don’t need that. I have plenty.” Then upon going home and opening the fridge, I realize, “Yes, I did in fact need milk”. Plus, groceries are SO expensive, and it seems like produce expires a lot faster when you’re the one paying for it. Suddenly, all of my mom’s couponing and buying generic brands of everything make so much more sense. At this point, I feel like this post should just be called #ThanksMom.

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You can’t blame anyone else for your messes

I don’t think I ever realized how often I could tell myself the mess in the living room wasn’t because of me. We all like to think we are neat and tidy, and some of us are more than others, but when you live alone you can no longer deny you’re less than clean habits. I am, for the most part, pretty tidy, but I have a bad habit of leaving things I’m working on scattered throughout my apartment. This habit is even worse now that I’m not sharing these spaces with anyone. I can’t even pretend that I wasn’t the one who left the couch pillows all over the living room anymore because there is no one else who possibly could have done it! This is one of those things you don’t even realize you did until you can’t anymore.

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You have to cook all your own meals

I love to cook, but there are many nights when I want a home-cooked meal that I don’t have to make. I miss being able to lay in my room reading or sit on the couch watching T.V. until supper was ready. I took an unbelievably amount of home cooked meals for granted, and I cannot believe I ever had the audacity to complain about what was made. Plus, there’s just something about mom making your food that makes it taste so much better. The worst part of it all is that I have to do ALL the cleanup when I make a meal, which everyone knows is the WORST part of cooking. Once again, thank you mom.

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Always having someone around

Like I said before, I do enjoy living alone for the most part, but the hardest part for me has been how incredibly lonely I can be at times. My social life is pretty close to non-existent, so I spend a lot of my time home alone. There a lot of times I miss having someone waiting for me at home. I love to cook, but cooking awesome meals for one isn’t as fun as sharing it with someone. I miss having someone to watch T.V. with so we could discuss the show and bounce ideas around while we watched. It’s even as simple as missing someone to talk to about my day. Even though it could drive me nuts at times, I do miss always having someone around to talk to and spend time with. As much as I love living alone, I don’t so much love being lonely.

If you are living at home or even with a roommate or two, take some time to appreciate these things, because you will miss them when they are gone. If you have never lived alone, I do recommend it, because you do discover a lot about yourself and your capabilities. It’s an experience I’m glad to be having right now, despite the downsides. However, I do have a deep appreciation for all the things I took for granted when I was living at home, and I know that is something I will never get back. There’s no way my mom would ever let me move back home! I love having my own place and the sense of independence that comes with, but that doesn’t mean I can’t also appreciate the past.

Exclusion and Confusion

I normally don’t dive too deep into certain aspects of my life, especially when it comes to getting all caught up in wallowing in the past, however there is something I just haven’t been able to get out of my mind. I debated writing this, but then I realized this is my blog, and I’m allowed to write whatever I want. Story time:

When I was a sophomore in high school, I had a close-knit group of friends. This seems like it would be a good thing, however the problem was that they were all close to each other, but not so much with me. I chose to overlook this fact, because I did genuinely enjoy spending time with them. During the summer between my sophomore and junior year, I purposed the idea of going hiking at a place about 40 miles away. Everyone was on board with the idea and all seemed super excited. The night before we were supposed to go, half of them texted me to tell me they were no longer able to go, so I texted the other half to let them know we were postponing. Everyone seemed completely okay with this, so I figured we would just figure out a different weekend. Fast forward one week later; I was scrolling through my Facebook when I saw pictures of all my friends. At the hiking place. Together. Without me. They all went on a day trip that was my idea and that I had planned without me. Then when I called them out on it, they gave me half assed excuses like “We assumed you had to work,” “It was a last minute thing,” or, my personal favorite, “We figured you wouldn’t want to go.” I was so angry and hurt, but by the end of the conversation, I was the one apologizing.

Now, I’ve told this story a lot over the years, and I do so for two very different reasons. I tell it because it shows just how bizarre my life has been and always gets a lot of laughs, and I am able to laugh about it now. I also tell it at times to help me illustrate how hard high school was for me to get through, but I got through it anyways. And when I tell this story, often times people ask me “Why did you stay friends with them?” Because after this happened, I still stuck by them. When two of them (the two I was closest to) sat me down in the school counselor’s office my junior year, and preceded to tell me everything they thought was wrong with me, I still considered them my friends. At this point, you are most definitely thinking the same thing; why did I stay friends with them. Usually, I shrug this question off and just say “I don’t know,” but the truth is I do know.

After I saw the pictures of them all hiking and having fun without me, I was crushed. I didn’t understand how people could be so cruel and kept asking myself what I had done to deserve that kind of treatment. But while they were feeding me crappy excuses, I realized I had two choices: I could sever all ties with them and go through my last two years of high school completely alone, or I could take those feelings and bury them down deep inside myself and figure out how to look past the whole thing. I stayed friends with them because I had no one else. And each time they did things that made me feel worthless, I did the same thing- I buried my feelings and pretended not to be hurt because at least they included me sometimes. At least I had someone to sit by at lunch. At least I had people to talk to.

By the time I was a senior, I had found a different group of people to hang out with, and began to drift apart from them. I still talked to them on a regular basis, still sat with them at lunch once in a while, and still hung out with them at times. But after I graduated, I moved on with my life and never looked back.

The thing is, I have been excluded my entire my life. In my AP Government class my junior year of high school, the other nine people in the class moved to the opposite side of the room leaving me to sit completely alone on the other side. I had friends come over to my house almost every night during the summer growing up to play night games, but I always picked last when it came time to pick teams. I did group projects alone because everyone else had friends to pair up with, and I was left alone. When I was in eighth grade, I begged one of my classmates to let me be in her group for a video project so I wouldn’t have to be by myself. When I got to college, I thought I was finally with people who accepted me when I joined rugby, but when we were scrimmaging for practice, I was once again the last picked. Every. Single. Time. I’m no stranger to being left out, but I always promised myself I wouldn’t let people treat me the way my group of friends in high school did ever again.

Flash forward to now. I’ve been out of college for over a year and have what I think is a solid group of friends. All summer, I’ve been telling my friends I want to go to a popular amusement park. They say “We’ll find a weekend,” or “Why don’t we wait until the fall?” About two weeks ago, I’m scrolling through Facebook, and I see a picture of the four of them at this park. I was, once again, crushed. When I called them out on it, I got half-assed excuses like “We figured you were working,” “It just happened last minute,” and “We didn’t know you wanted to go.” Talk about déjà vu. I decided that I was done being the one to reach out. I was done being the one to start conversations and make plans. I spent a week fighting the urge to send messages or tag them in Facebook posts and waiting for one of them to reach out to me (and not in response to a group chat with a separate group of people)- to show me they actually did care about me. When none of them did, I again found myself faced with that same choice. And again, I chose to stuff my feelings away, ignore the hurt and anger I felt, and figure out a way to move on because I felt that something that seemed so minor was not worth ending friendships over. It wasn’t worth isolating myself over and it didn’t negate all the good memories. So, I reached out. I buried the sadness and frustration and pretended I wasn’t still hurting.

Except now, I keep asking myself if I’m just making the same mistake again. Will things like this happen over and over again? Will I tell this story years later and have people ask me “Why did you stay friends?” Will I, once again, be continuously left out and forced to pretend that I’m okay with it? Will I be edged out and pushed away? I ask myself why this keeps happening to me. What is so wrong with me that I keep finding myself back here, feeling like I don’t matter to anyone? What more do I have to do to prove that I’m a good person who is worth being friends with? How many more times will I find myself doing things for my friends, when in the back of my mind I know they wouldn’t do the same for me? Am I stupid for choosing to overlook this incident and move on? How many more times will I be stuck feeling this way?

And the hardest part is that I can’t even bring myself to tell them how I feel- to tell them how much they hurt me because I don’t want them to feel bad. I don’t want them to think they’re bad friends, because they truly are the best friends I’ve ever known. They’re the people who come to my rescue whenever I have car problems (which seems to be often). They’re the first people I tell my good news to. They’re the people who take me out to celebrate my success, like getting a new job. They’re the people who ask me to be a part of one of the biggest days of their lives. They’re the people I take vacations with, and don’t even care about what goes wrong. They’re the people who come over just to spend time with me. They’re the people who come to my house at 3am just to make sure I’m okay. They’re the ones who make me laugh in my darkest hours. They’re the ones that put up with my mental health and all the baggage that comes with it. They’re the ones who listen to my problems without trying to “one up” me. They are the people who help me find humor in everything. They are the ones who accept me, even though I have a million flaws and annoying habits. They love me even when I’m not very lovable. They are the people I can’t even picture going through life without, and I just can’t seem to stop trying to show them how much they mean to me. I make their favorite baked goods because I know how much they love them. I ask questions about things I know mean a lot to them, because I know how it feels to have no one to talk about your passions with. I stay up late even when I’m exhausted, because spending time with them is more important to me. I sit outside and freeze for three hours to watch softball games, because I know how it feels to have no one come to support you and I don’t want them to feel that way. I send them pictures that I hope make them laugh to brighten up their day just a little. I tell myself they didn’t mean to hurt me, and that it was just an honest mistake, that it doesn’t bother me, and that I’m over it. I laugh off the hurt and the sadness because I don’t want them to think badly of themselves. I ignore the voice in my head, no matter how loud it gets, that keeps asking me if I’m just making the same mistake.

The Top 10 Reasons I’m Single

Okay, so I’m not actually listing reasons per se. I don’t really want to wage an attack on my personality or appearance, because that’s just not healthy or enjoyable. Instead, I’m sharing with you my favorite stories involving things I have said or done that may have something to do with my current relationship status. Some revolve around my failed attempts at flirting, some paint a picture of how blunt I can be when I’m not interested, and a few just paint a small picture of my bizarre personality. Here are the top 10 reasons I’m still single.

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I was eating at a restaurant with my mom for my birthday, and we had a cute waiter that I was trying to flirt with. The key word there was trying. When we were done eating, my mom told him it was my birthday, and apparently that meant I got a giant chocolate chip cookie. He brought it over and asked if I wanted some plates, and my dumbass responded, “Plates are for amateurs.” I’m honestly surprised I didn’t follow it up with finger guns.

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I was at a local bar, dancing with a group of girls, when a guy just randomly started dancing on me. I was just out to have a good time with my friends, and was definitely not in the mood to be hit on, if you can even call it that. After trying to move away from him a couple times, and having him continue to try to dance on me, I finally turned around to face him. This creepy ass looking guy that was probably about 10 years older than me had the audacity to sheepishly smile at me, and I noticed he was missing just about every other tooth. Me being who I am, looked him dead in the eyes and said “I’m sorry, you need to have all of your teeth to ride this ride.”

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I make memes like this and post them on my social media:

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A little backstory on this- I was at work one night, and my coworkers were talking about celebrity doppelgängers. One of my coworkers asked me if I had one, and I responded as any normal person would, “Yeah, Danny DeVito.” When I got home, I took my hair out of my top knot and it was sticking out everywhere, and one thing led to another and this meme was born.

I was at a bar, and this time I was half hoping to meet a fella, when a very cute guy approached me. I knew he wasn’t a total creep, because he was friends with my twin brother. He did exactly what a guy should do, and came up to me and introduced himself. In my head, I was thinking, “Wow, this guy is really cute and actually seems like a semi-decent human being. I should respond with something cute and witty.” What came out of my mouth in the coldest tone that has ever happened in the history of the world was, “Congratulations.” Needless to say, that shipped sailed away very quickly.

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This one is not quite a story, but more of an ongoing thing. While I try very hard to promote body positivity in my posts, I do admit that I have a pretty impressive (not sure if that’s the right word, but it’s what I’m going with) beer belly. I enjoy drinking beer quite often, however it does cause a less than attractive gut. I have a habit of sticking out my beer belly as far as I can, and holding it like a pregnant belly, usually in public. I keep telling people it’s going to be a Mich Ultra, or a Budlight, or whatever beer I happen to be drinking at the time. While it’s the opposite of attractive, I usually get a lot of laughs from it and find it hilarious. I will admit, that I should maybe stop doing it in public if I ever hope to change my relationship status.

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I was at a local bar (why do so many of my stories start this way?) sitting a table with some buddies and playing dice. I got up to walk to the bathroom, and as I was crossing the dance-floor to get to my destination, a guy began to attempt to dance on me. I turned around and said “No thanks,” and kept walking. As I was on my way back to the table, the same guy, once again, tried the same routine. Now, a little backstory on me. I have a huge problem with men just coming up to me and starting to dance on me- not with me, but ON me. However, I’m not naïve enough to think this will never happen, and I therefore have a rule. When this occurs, I will ask nicely once and only once. After that, if he chooses not to respect my answer, all bets are off. So, when this guy, again started trying to dance on me while I was clearly walking away, I whipped around and told him, quite sternly, “I will end your f*****g life.”

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I was out shopping at the mall, and it was obnoxiously busy for a Tuesday. I think it goes without saying that I am not what you’d call a “people person.” I do not like stores or malls that are loud and crowded, mainly because I suffer from social anxiety. On a Tuesday afternoon, one wouldn’t expect the mall to be so busy, but there we were. While buying whatever we were buying at a store, my mom commented to the cashier that it was overly busy for a week day and I agreed. The cashier (who was a moderately cute boy) looked at me and said, “You don’t like places when they’re busy?” My response? “I like my stores as empty as my soul.”

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I was at a restaurant (seriously why do these always happen when I’m eating or drinking) and the T.V. had a rugby game on (my favorite sport) and the All Blacks were playing (my favorite team), so of course, I was invested in this game. The waiter (who was very cute) noticed that I was into the game. Here in the United States, not a whole lot of people know how rugby is played, let alone are invested into the game, so I knew this was probably a rarity for this guy. I suspected this when he said, “Oh! You know rugby?” I nodded, and he said “I learned all about rugby in a class I took in college.” I was attempting to be flirty and seem impressive, so I responded with, “That’s cute. I play it.” Now this might have worked had my tone matched my intent, however instead of sounding cute and coy, it sounded extremely condescending and detached. And another one bites the dust.

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I was at a bar for my 21st birthday and was at a steady level of intoxication, as I had been drinking non-stop for the past three hours. My 21st birthday was on a Friday night, which also happened to be during the biggest drinking weekend of the year at my college, so pretty much everyone was out that night. I had gone all out with my hair and makeup and was wearing a sparkly, black sling dress, so I was feeling pretty confident. As I was stumbling my way through the bar to get another drink,  I ran into a guy I had been majorly crushing on for the past couple years (two years later, I’m still crushing). He told me Happy Birthday and pulled me into the best hug I had ever gotten before. In my drunken state, I did not realize I was saying the thought that crossed my mind out loud, where he could hear it. What was said thought? “Oh, it’s even better than I imagined.” Face, meet palm.

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Make no mistake, I do not tell these stories because I am desperate for a relationship; I tell them because I think they are funny and say a lot about who I am. While I sometimes wish I was in a relationship to have someone to share that bond with, overall, I am very content being single. I’m at an age where I’m trying to figure out what direction I want my life to head, and I love being able to plan that solely around myself, without having to factor in another person. While there is absolutely nothing wrong with finding a forever love at a young age, I enjoy being able to focus solely on my career and MY life. I am very open to starting a relationship at this point in my life, but it is not something I am actively working towards because I am happy being on my own, for the most part. I tell these stories to show just how deep my single brain really goes; I’ve been single for so long, I don’t even know what I’d do if I wasn’t. More than anything, I hope these stories make people laugh, because being single is not the worst thing in the world. Whether you’re single or not doesn’t matter- all that matters is whether or not you’re happy.

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Ways to Entertain Yourself on a Super Boring Day

Ever have a day where you’re so bored, you just don’t know what to do with yourself? Days where there’s no one around to hang out with, but if you spend one more second on your couch, you’re going to lose it? I have days like this all too often, so I’ve become somewhat of an expert at finding ways to pass the time and even enjoy the day. Since it’s taken me years to perfect this list, I figured I could save you all some time and share it with you! Here’s my list of ways to suck joy out of an otherwise boring day.

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Take the longest shower ever:

Nothing leaves you feeling more relaxed and refreshed than a shower where you spare no expense. Most of the time, we shower before going to work or bed and don’t have time to do all the things that make a shower satisfying. When you have nothing else to do in a day, why not take the extra time to give yourself a luxurious shower? Crank up the heat, scrub the gunk out of your hair, exfoliate your skin, shave your legs, and do whatever else you never have time to do. Maybe even take a bath, if that’s your thing. Bottom line- spending an extended amount of time in a hot water will leave you feeling like a whole new person.

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Scrape the dead skin off your feet:

Maybe it’s just me, but something about getting all the flaky skin off the bottom of my feet is so satisfying. If you’re the same way, here’s how I do it. Fill up a container big enough to fit your feet in (Doesn’t matter what it is, as long as it holds water) with as hot of water as you can comfortably stand. Pour about a half of a cup to a cup of Listerine mouthwash into the water then plunge your feet in and let them soak. You can add some Epsom salt if you want to get extra with it. Give it a good fifteen minutes then take one foot and use a pumice stone to scrape off as much skin as you can get before you swap feet. Then put them both back into the water and add some hot water and/or more Listerine as needed. I usually repeat this process three times before drying off my feet and slathering them in lotion. I have yet to find anything that works as good as this method.

Make yourself a bomb-ass meal:

Instead of spending the day scavenging your kitchen for unfulfilling snacks, get up and cook yourself something really good. We all have a Pinterest board full of recipes we want to try, so pick one that looks delicious and make it! I make it a goal to make at least two of my Pinterest recipes per month, and I’ve been slowly making my way through my entire board. Some turn out amazing and have been added to my permanent meal roster, while others have been deleted off the board. So, find a recipe you’ve always wanted to try, and try it! This may require leaving the house for ingredients, and if that’s a hard no for you, find a recipe that you already have the stuff for or alter one to fit what’s already in your fridge. If you’re a person who loves to cook, but hates the cleanup then save the cleanup for tomorrow and just enjoy the cooking process. Make it extra fun, and crank up your favorite music while you work. At the end of it all, you have yourself a (hopefully) bomb ass meal. If cooking seriously isn’t your thing, then order your favorite takeout meal and treat yourself that way.

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Do your make-up:

At some point, you’ve probably seen some dramatic makeup and thought “That’s awesome, but there’s no way I can pull it off.” If you’re just going to sit home all day, why not try one out? I have a Pinterest board of make-up ideas I love, and I try them out when I have nothing else to do. It’s a safe and fun way to experiment with different colors and techniques that you’ve never tried before. You may even surprise yourself and find a look that looks amazing on you. I know make-up is crazy expensive, so if you struggle to waste it, find a look that uses the colors in your palettes you never use; this way you’re not wasting your good stuff. If you look awesome, snap a few pics and post them on social media for a little self-esteem boost. If you look ridiculous, just wipe it off, and no one will ever know.

Deep clean all or part of your house:

Okay, I know this one isn’t for everyone, but getting your clean on can make you feel like you actually accomplished something on an otherwise waste of day. Start with something small to get you in the groove, such as doing the dishes or picking up the clothes scattered on your bedroom floor (I know you have some- we all do). Once you start, you’ll probably be more motivated to keep going. Take it one room at a time, so if you lose all your momentum part of the way through, you’ll have a whole room or two done rather than a ton of half clean rooms. I love to start with my kitchen, because I use it the most. I do the dishes, take everything off the counters and scrub them, wipe down the cabinets, clean the stove, mop the floors, and whatever else I need to do to make it look spotless. Sometimes, I stop there and other times, I continue to the next room. I keep up this pattern until I’m done with my whole apartment or run out of gas; whichever comes first. Again, crank up your favorite play list while you clean to make it way more fun. By the time you’re done, whenever that is, you’ll feel like you actually got something done.

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Set up camp outside:

I firmly believe that there is a HUGE difference between sitting inside and sitting outside. The mixture of the fresh air and getting away from the T.V. is super refreshing. So, grab a blanket or lounge chair, and get your butt outside (depending on the weather). Sit outside and read a book or a magazine, do a work puzzle, play a game on your phone, or turn on some music (or an audiobook, if you’re me) and close your eyes- whatever it takes for you to just unwind and enjoy the fresh air.

Do a workout:

This is a great way to not only pass some time, but also to give yourself a jump start. The possibilities here are endless! Go to a local gym and do some intense cardio or weight lifting. If that’s not your thing, do one in the comfort of your own home. The internet is loaded with different workouts to fit your needs, whether you want something to get your heart rate pumping or a relaxing yoga routine. If you prefer the outdoors, go for a walk, jog, or bike ride, or do some aerobics in your backyard. If you do it right, you’ll feel tired when you’re done, but you’ll also feel empowered and maybe even inspired to get some sh*t done!

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Do a craft project:

If you’re anything like me, you have all the supplies for a project that’s been sitting in a closet for months and you have a Pinterest board full of fun ideas for craft projects you’d love to try. If you have nothing else to do, get off your butt and finish one! When you get one done, you might even be inspired to do more, and you’ll (hopefully) have an awesome new piece to display somewhere. Many of us complain that we have zero time to get these things done, but when time presents itself, we waste it away watching Netflix instead of getting up and actually doing it. You can even pick a craft project you can do while watching Netflix and have the best of both worlds. Make yourself something and be proud of it, and even if it turns out to be an epic fail, at least you tried it!

 Call someone:

I much prefer texting to calling, but sometimes it’s so nice to hear the other person’s voice. We live in a world where people talk on the phone less and less, because it takes up too much time and it’s less convenient than texting. But sometimes, the cure to boredom is actually hearing another person’s voice. So, call a friend you haven’t chatted with for awhile and spend some time on the phone and really talk. More often than not, I’ll call my mom when I’m bored and spend an hour or two just talking. I think we all forget sometimes how nice it is to actually talk out loud to someone and hear their voice when they respond. You can get deep and philosophical, vent about who or what has been pissing you off, or keep it lighthearted and fun. Talk inside or outside- wherever you want- just let yourself become fully immersed in the conversation.

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If all else fails, and none of these seem alluring to you or you just don’t have the energy to do them, grab yourself a case of your favorite beer, settle in, and drink up!

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Why Dogs are Better than Kids

Maybe it’s because I’m at the ripe age of 23, but lately it seems the common goal among my peers is having kids. Don’t get me wrong; I haven’t completely turned away from wanting kids, however I’ve been trying to determine if the things I thought I wanted in my life are what I actually want or what society tells me I want. Kids are on that list. I have always wanted to be a mom and often saw my future as having three to four kids and an adoring husband, but as time as gone on, finding a desirable man that I like enough to want to be with has proved to be a challenge. I can’t help but think that maybe that’s not a path I want anymore, and instead see myself with a boatload of dogs. The more I think on this, the more I like what that future looks like and the more I see reasons why getting dogs are better than having kids.

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  1. For starters, there is far less physical pain and suffering with getting a dog. Having kids (the conventional way at least) involves nine long months of pregnancy, during which your entire body changes. And when these long, hard months finally come to a close, there’s an intense pain like none other just to get the thing out of your body. You then spend weeks waiting for your body to figure out how to go back to normal. On top of that, there are tons and tons of things that could go wrong. I don’t think there is a woman alive that would call child birth fun, but do you know what is fun? Picking out a dog. There is far less stress and pain and nothing is growing inside of you. You just get to go out, hang out with one or more dogs, fork over some cash, and go home with your new fur baby!

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  1. Speaking of picking out a dog, you get to PICK OUT a dog. If you have a kid, you are, to put it lightly, stuck with what you get. With a dog, you get to literally pick and choose exactly what you are looking for. Gender, age, color, size- the list goes on and on. You can look in a variety of places at a variety of times until you find the perfect dog. Don’t want to do the work of potty training? Pick an older doggo that already knows this trick. Landlord says it has to be under 30 pounds? You can choose a smaller breed. Because you aren’t time limited, you can take your time and be carefully selective. If you don’t care about such things, you can keep it short and just get the first one you like. Either way, the choice is yours.

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  1. If you do pick out one that you have to train, it’s 100 times easier than training a child. It’s years before a child is properly potty trained, whereas a dog takes a few months tops. It’s also easier to train a dog to sit down, stay put, and be quiet- all things you often see parents struggling with. 8 out of 10 times a dog will do anything you ask it to if you’re holding a treat. Plus, no one judges you for using food as a main motivator with your dog.

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  1. Getting a dog is WAY cheaper than having a child. The average cost for having a baby in the U.S. ranges anywhere from $5,000 to $15,000. This huge gap is due to vaginal births versus a C-section birth, amount of time spent in the hospital, and the care required by mom and baby. You can easily find a dog for $1,000. Yes, some purebred dogs are a few grand, the dog will still most likely be cheaper. If you don’t care about breed as much, you can get a dog for a couple hundred or less, maybe even free! This doesn’t even include all the fees that come later, like clothes, food, activities, hospital bills, etc. While some dogs can rack up some bills, however the total cost will be way less than the total you will spend on a kid.

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  1. Speaking of money spent, dogs are way lower maintenance than kids. Dogs don’t require schooling, unless you choose to send them (and even then, it’s only a few walks). Dogs aren’t involved in 15,000 sports and activities that parents need to pay for and feel the need to attend. Dogs will usually eat whatever you put in front of them and won’t spend a half hour complaining about it. They don’t fight you tooth and nail on bedtime, and when they don’t want to get in the tub, it’s perfectly acceptable to pick them up and dump them in. Dogs don’t need new clothes and shoes and don’t scream and wail when they don’t get the toy they wanted. They also don’t need your constant, undivided attention for every hour of every day. You can leave a dog home alone for a few hours or they are often perfectly with laying down and napping in another room.

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  1. When they are misbehaving, you can put a dog in a (size-appropriate please) cage. When your dog chews up something he wasn’t supposed to or is driving you insane, it’s not illegal to lock him in a kennel for a few hours. If you do this with a kid, someone will (hopefully) call the authorities. It’s not cruel or inhumane to put a dog in a kennel, however you just can’t do that to a screaming child. This is way easier than putting a child in a time out that he constantly tries to sneak out of or putting a kid in his room while she screams bloody murder the whole way down the hall. You put a dog in his kennel, close the door, and forget about him for a while.

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  1. If you happen to need daycare for whatever the reason may be, doggy daycare is so much cheaper. Child care is usually a huge financial burden on parents, but you can leave a dog home alone during the day, and no one calls CPS. In the off chance you do need dog care, it’s probably going to be a less money. I can send my dog to daycare for 8-10 hours for $20; that’s less than you’d pay a babysitter for five. You can also usually find someone to watch your dog for free, but finding the same for kids is next to impossible.

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  1. Dogs are quiet, whereas kids are very seldom quiet. Children yell and scream and cry and shriek and never seem to stop talking. Dogs, on the other hand, cannot speak and are therefore much quieter. While some dogs have a barking problem, most of them can be trained out of this. If you are a person who values quiet time, a kid is probably not for you. A dog, however, is a great match. Even when they do make noise, it’s usually so cute that you can’t even mad about it. Kids NEVER stop making noise, but dogs, on the other hand, are happy to stay silent.

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  1. Dogs are more fun than kids. With most kids, you have to be so gentle, careful, and age appropriate that you can only have fun with them for like 10 minutes before you’re bored. Dogs can entertain you for hours. You can say what you want around them and no one seems to care and you can play rough with them while they have a blast. Dogs can provide endless amounts of fun and entertainment, while the fun side of kids is short lived. Either they end up throwing a fit, crying, or yelling, but dogs don’t do any of things. With dogs, you can also stop whenever you want to.

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  1. Dogs will love you blindly in a way kids will not. Dogs appreciate everything you do for them and try to show you how much you love them, whereas kids often take you for granted and will probably rebel against you. Dogs don’t have teenage rebellion phases, they don’t scream that they hate you, and they don’t get mad because you got the wrong brand of cereal at the store. Dogs will love you more than they love themselves and will spend the better part of your life trying to show this to you. A dog will love you no matter the flaws you have or the mistakes you make. A dog will never point out your failures or make you feel guilty for the choices you make. A dog will show you more love than you deserve; you are their world, and they will love you blindly.

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I know a lot of people in the world love kids, have kids that they adore, and want kids more than anything, but this life path may not be for everyone for a variety of reasons. I always thought I was destined to be a mom, and I always pictured human children for this. But lately I’ve been thinking I’ve had it all wrong. Maybe, I was destined to be a damn good dog mom. Maybe some people love kids more than anything, but I for one, definitely see the benefits having a dog has over having a child. Even if you disagree, you can’t deny the “scientific” evidence I’ve just given. I think at this point, it’ll take a whole lot to change my mind. Maybe I need to have a kid to know for sure, but for right now, I’m perfectly happy just being a dog mom.

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