What Could Have Been

When I think of you, I can’t help but think about what could have been.

Had things gone differently- the way they did in my mind- where would we be?

If things had gone differently, would we have

Morphed into our own version of perfect?

Would we be the people I still see inside my mind?

We had a chance to jump in together,

But only one of us was willing to take the leap.

Maybe I misread the signs and maybe

I was a fool for thinking we could be something, but maybe

We will forever be in state of missed opportunity.

There are times when I find myself lost

In the world of what could have been.

Where we are in a place where the universe is shaped around us-

Where we discover happiness together.

In my mind, we find peace in each other’s arms

And share secret smiles in the moments we steal.

But then reality sets in, and I remember who we really are.

I sneak glances at you, but you never look at me.

I rehearse what to say inside my head,

But the words never pass my lips.

I pretend it doesn’t hurt as we remain

Trapped dancing around each other

In this hollow state.

 

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The Female Advantage

In today’s society, it seems that there is an increasing focus on the negative aspects of being a female. Newsfeeds are plastered with impossible beauty standards, dwindling body images, and rape culture. Don’t get me wrong- these things are very important and need to be talked about, because if no one talks about them, nothing changes. These issues are something I care about very deeply, however we can get lost in these never ending messages on why being a female sucks. While being a female can be really hard sometimes, and it can seem like we don’t have very many advantages over our male counterparts, we do have some astonishing perks. These may not always be obvious or even relevant, but they are there, even if they are hiding in the shadows. Some of these may take you by surprise, but here is a list of the somewhat everyday advantages being a girl comes with.

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We have way more clothing options than our male counterparts. Our sections in department stores are usually three times the size of the guys’, and that doesn’t even include the stores that are just for us. Our outfit options are endless! Hot day? We can choose from skirts, shorts, capris, rompers, or dresses. Even our sub-categories have endless categories. Look at any red carpet looks- the woman have a huge variety of outfits. One in a sleek black dress, one in a sparkly red dress, one in a ball gown- it just keeps going. Guys? They have tuxedos and tuxedos. Dressing up for a formal event, a day at work, or even just a day at home is way more fun when you’re a girl. Plus, we don’t have to wear those horribly uncomfortable looking jockstraps.

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Shoes. Need I say more? Arguably, this could have been included with the clothing, but shoes are so important, they deserve their own. Our footwear options are limitless! I have somewhere around 30 pairs of shoes, and no two are alike. Each one serves a purpose and can completely transform an outfit. Why do girls have so many shoes? Because we can! Guys may have four different pairs of tennis shoes that they are weirdly proud of, but us girls know that is amateur work. We can have eight different pairs of boots, each and every one a different length, style, color, heel size- the possibilities are never ending! Piggy backing off the great Carrie Bradshaw, walking in a girl’s shoes is really hard; that’s why we need really special shoes to do it.

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We can get guys to do just about anything for us by acting helpless. While guys making the assumption we can’t do anything for ourselves can get unbelievably frustrating, it can be useful. There are some days where we are given tasks we really hate or just don’t feel like doing. When this happens, we can act utterly helpless and maybe whine a bit, and our “knight in shining armor” will do it for us. I use this most at my second job when I have to do something I really don’t want to. I act like I have no idea what I’m doing and I’m in desperate need of help, and most times some guy swoops in to do it for me. Sometimes I work against the patriarchy; sometimes I let the patriarchy work for me.

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We can cry our way out of anything. I personally am not very good at this, but I know lots of women who are. Those girls who can cry on command get themselves out of a lot of trouble have an incredible talent. Pulled over for speeding? Tears. In trouble with your boss? Turn on the water works. Fight with your boyfriend? Cry. This system is fool proof, especially with men. Most men don’t really know how to deal with someone who is emotional, so when they see a woman cry, they’ll pretty much do anything they can to make it stop, even if that means letting them off the hook. Cry it out ladies. You have a superpower, so you might as well use it!

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We can get pedicures. Sure, men can too, but it comes with all sorts of stigmas that can ruin the experience. Women can get them without any backlash. There are few things better than relaxing in a comfortable chair and letting your feet soak in hot water while you chat with your girlfriends. The hardest part of a pedicure is choosing which color to have your toes painted. You get to kick back and relax while someone else makes your feet look and feel amazing. Pedicures are a luxury that happens to come with being a girl.

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We have makeup. Makeup can sometimes be a girl’s greatest weapon. When we have a zit, we can cover it up with concealer. If we feel like our face is looking extra fat, contour becomes our best friend. Need a self confidence boost? Throw on some black eyeliner and bold lipstick and you’ll feel unconquerable. Makeup can help give us the extra push we need to go through our day with confidence and style. Whether it’s just a sweep of mascara or full on face, makeup can make us girls feel unstoppable. Boys, just so you know, when girls wear makeup, it’s hardly ever for you.

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Speaking of makeup, we have the privilege to get ready with our friends. Before a night out or some big event, girls love to get together and get ready. We do our makeup, fix our hair, and pick out killer outfits. There’s nothing like cranking up some music, crowding in front of a mirror, and talking and laughing while we make ourselves pretty. Some of the best memories are made during the getting ready process, and a lot of times getting ready with your friends is more fun than the actual event. Not only do we have a blast- we get to help each other out with what looks best and put our makeup and hair strengths to work on each other. Getting ready with your girlfriends is one of the biggest perks to being a female and isn’t something I would trade for the world.

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Our drinks are so much better. When we go to the bar, we drink things like sangrias, margaritas, and daiquiris without a second thought. Even tough guys love to make fun of us for our “girly drinks” while they guzzle their beers, our drinks are way more alcoholic. Ever wonder why girls get drunk after two drinks? Because our drinks are made up of hard liquor and sugar. Not only are they strong, they also taste delicious. Boys, you can keep your “manly” wheat juice and leave the hard stuff to the professionals.

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We have girl talk. There are few problems that can’t be solved by getting together with your girls and spilling your heart out. Together, we can analyze every aspect of a situation to brainstorm the best way to handle it. When we need to get something off our chests- something we feel like we can’t tell anyone- our girlfriends are there to listen without judgment. Even when we are just sitting around talking about something completely bizarre, girl talk makes us feel a thousand times better. Nothing is off limits during this time, so we can say anything without fear of being judged or our secrets getting out. Girl talk is sacred and necessary to keep our sanity intact.

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We are changing the world. Girls are taking this world by storm. We are breaking our silence and shouting at the top of our lungs for change. We are rising up to end the discriminations we face. We are calling out rape culture, shutting down slut shaming, and working on shattering glass ceilings. We are no longer taking these things sitting down; we are standing up and saying “no more.” We are done putting up with all the unfairness that is thrown at us and we are making a change. We will push through any barriers raised against us and burn down the patriarchy if we have to. We will do whatever it takes to get the respect we deserve. The world is changing, and us girls are at the front lines.

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Being a girl can be extremely difficult, but we also have indisputable advantages. We are far from perfect and we don’t have everything figured out, but there are some things we do have that are irreplaceable. Being a girl is tough journey that I’m happy I get to walk through with the beautiful ladies around me. So, let’s keep working on building each other up. You don’t have to put other women down to feel better about yourself. Let’s stop making everything a competition and stepping on the backs of our fellow women to raise ourselves higher. Instead, let’s work on pulling each other up and being there for each other. Because at the end of the day, your girls will be there for you and support you in ways no one else will, and we are stronger together.

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