The Friendzone

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There are a lot of reasons that this photo gets under my skin. First of all, it’s the word “friendzone”. This disgusting little word was one that was likely invented by a boy who was mad a girl didn’t have feelings for him the way he did for her. It’s a concept that is foreign to women, because we understand that no means no. We understand that sometimes the boys/girls you like don’t always like you back. We understand that people have the right to refuse unwanted relationships. The problem with the word “friendzone” is that it implies that we are doing something wrong for not being interested in someone. It implies that we should be sorry to the people that we don’t have mutual romantic feelings for. It implies that he has a right to us.

There have been plenty of men in my life that I have liked as more than a friend and they often times (all the time) do not feel the same way. Yes, it sucks and it hurts, but that’s life. Those men have a right to feel differently than I do. They have a right to be with girls that I feel are the wrong ones. Yes, it hurts for a while, but I move on.

The other problem with this word is that it makes it seem like being a friend is such a bad thing. If I like someone that doesn’t like me back, I would much rather be their friend than not be in their life as all. If someone truly cares for me the way they claim, then being my friend should be an advantage, NOT a disadvantage. If being the choice is being with someone I don’t have feeling for or not having them in my life at all, I’m going to pick the second one, because you clearly don’t appreciate me. At the end of the day, a solid friendship is much better than a failed relationship. Why is being y friend suddenly become negative when you find I don’t like you the way you like me?

Now for the rest of this photo. First of all, the boys I am “friendzoning” are ones I am not looking to pursue a relationship with. I do not have those kinds of feelings about them, or I don’t know that they have ever thought of me as more than a friend. If it is such a burden to be my friend, then don’t. It’s that simple. Secondly, I am allowed to be upset about being single, no matter how many guy friends I have. A friendship is different than a romantic relationship, so I am allowed to yearn for romance, despite my abundance of guy friends. I should be allowed to talk about these feelings with my friends, no matter their gender. Friends do that for each other. If you can’t support me or be there for me, then don’t. I will find new friends. If it’s too difficult to be a good friend to me, then don’t be. If you don’t care enough about to want to see me happy with someone I love, then you need to reevaluate the definition of the word friend.

Stop using friendship to be spiteful and petty. Stop making women feel bad for only seeing you as a friend. Stop making women feel bad for not reciprocating your feelings. Stop making women feel bad for having the choice to say no. Stop using this word to put us down for the way we feel. I am single and I have a lot of guy friends. I feel differently about each of them; some I like more than a friend, some I know like me as more than a friend, and some are just simply friends, but I love them all in different ways. I know that we don’t always feel the same about each other, and that’s okay. Having them as friends is more than enough, but that doesn’t mean I don’t crave a romantic relationship. We are allowed to express our emotions, especially when it comes to love. Stop using this word to put others down, and be happy that you have a friend who cares enough about you to keep you in their life.

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