A small prose inspired by an emotional day and a binge watch session of 13 Reasons Why. No need to worry my dears; just creativity expressing itself a little darkly this evening.
They say that people write in order to become the people they aren’t; the people they wish they could be. But I have a different theory. I think that we write because that’s the only time we can be who we truly are. Because the only time we are entirely unafraid to let the real us out is when our hands are on a keyboard. We write because talking about our feelings was never really our thing. Because we are ensured that the paper won’t judge us when everyone else will. Because it’s the only time we can be completely honest without being afraid of what someone will think or who they’ll tell. We write down the things we are unable to say out loud. We write down the things that we feel like no one will understand. The darkest and most secret parts of our soul go on the paper, because it won’t worry; won’t get sad or scared or mad. But maybe what we are most afraid of is getting no reaction at all. Of being written off and forgotten about. When the words of tangible, it’s harder to forget they existed. We write to sort through the muddled mess we call our thoughts and try to make sense of our lives. We write to understand the world and its bittersweet reality. We write to have control over a fictional world, because our own seems so chaotic. We write to create the friends and lovers we don’t have, and the struggles that everyone knows will somehow work out. We write instead of screaming until our throats are hoarse. We write instead of bearing our souls to someone because the paper won’t betray our trust. We write instead of saying things out loud because then there’s no one to sell your secrets for a moment of acceptance. We write instead of showing our broken side, because we have all but forgotten how to be vulnerable. We write so that we can put on the show for one more day, without anyone ever seeing how broken we are inside. We write to remind ourselves how to be carefree and fearless. We write because our souls are irreparably shattered, so we give out pieces of it one word at a time. We write because that’s really all we know how to do. We write to keep ourselves from going insane. We write because we need to.