Dear Future Boyfriend

Dear Future Boyfriend,

I don’t know if you’ll ever actually exist, but in the off chance that you will, there’s some things you should probably know. First of all, I know that I am hard to love and I’m sorry for that. I know I won’t make it easy for you, but I hope you know that it isn’t easy for me either. Opening myself up and allowing someone to love me will be one of the hardest things I will ever do. I know you will get angry, frustrated, and fed up with me, but just know that I am loving you the best way I know how to.

I will pick a lot of fights. I can’t help it. Just know that that is me testing you and trying to push you away, just to see if you will stay. I hope you do. I only pick fights with the people I really care about, so know that those fights are not out of hate or anger, but out of love and fear of losing you. I would never intentionally hurt you, because that is just not who I am. It seems backwards, but what can I say? I’m crazy.

Speaking of that, I hope you will embrace all my weird quirks as I have. I do and say a lot of abnormal things, but I think the key is to take them for what they are and see the humor in them, as I do. It will make of our lives much easier. Yes, I am odd, but I can also be quite entertaining. I’m sure you have a lot of quirks as well, because otherwise how would this relationship work?

Because I want you to be successful in this relationship, I want to give you some advice. I want you to call me out on things. Don’t let me get away with being difficult, not saying what’s wrong, and not being open. I will get angry when you do it initially, but I promise you it’s what I want. Call me out on my bullshit; don’t just put up with it.

Be thoughtful. I’m not materialistic by any means, but I appreciate thought far more than any gift. Any guy can go buy a girl a heart shaped necklace, but I want you to put thought into things. I’m not like other girls, so I don’t want to be treated like one. I would appreciate a heart shaped pizza or a handwritten letter over any piece of jewelry or stuffed teddy bear. Flowers are an exception here, because I love flowers (hint hint).

More than anything, I want us to have fun together. I don’t want to spend all our time going out to eat and sitting on a couch (although those things are nice sometimes). I want to go look at the stars, play at a park, check out Christmas lights, and go on crazy adventures. I want to have stories to tell about us; good stories. I don’t want to be just another stereotypical couple; I want to be different.

I want to do nice things for you, just because I want to make sure you know that I appreciate you. I know it’s supposed to be boys doing romantic things for girls, but I want to do romantic things for you too. I will probably be crazy about you, and I really want you to understand that. I want you to have no doubts about how much I care about you, so I’m going to do my best to show you.

I tend to say what I mean. If I tell you I don’t care if you go out with your friends; do it. It’s not a trap. If I say I won’t be mad, I won’t be mad. I’m not a puzzle for you to figure out and I don’t expect you to read my mind. That’s not fair to you, so I will say what I mean as often as I can. I’m not your mother, so I don’t want to act like I am. I don’t need you to ask me permission to do the things you want to do. It’s your life, so I want you to live it.

I cannot do clingy. It’s not because I don’t want you around, it’s because I am so used to being independent that I will need alone time. I won’t text and call you every day, and I will get annoyed if I am expected to spend all my free time with you. I will feel suffocated and try to push you away. I don’t want to be the center of your world; I just want to be a part of it.

I hope I can bring you happiness. I know I won’t be the best girl in the world, but I will try my hardest to be the best that I canfor you. I have been waiting so long to find you, so I won’t take this relationship lightly, despite how I may act. Some days will be really hard, and it will probably be a lot of work, but I will try my hardest to make this a good and wholesome relationship. I don’t give up on people easily and I care very deeply about those I love, and you will be no exception. I hope that I can love you the way you deserve to be loved, and I hope you can love me more than I love myself.

Hope to see you some day,

Ruby

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