Asking for Help

Asking for help is not something that comes easily to most people. I am one of those people. It’s a frustrating feeling when you are surrounded by people that are “there for you,” but you continue to feel entirely alone. Feeling as though you have no one to talk to, even on your worst days. Who do you turn to when you feel alone in the world? I have never known how to ask for help until often times it’s too late. Many people don’t understand how hard it is for some to scroll through the list of people you know, and still feel as though there is no one for you to turn to. To be afraid to share your darkest thoughts with people, because you are afraid of them turning their backs, being scared of you, or getting locked away. I have never let anyone into the darkest corners of my brain because those thoughts terrify me, I can’t imagine how they would make others feel to know. It’s hard to feel so angry and frustrated that all you want to do is cry and scream and just stop everything you’re doing to sleep, so you can forget the world for a few hours. It hurts to feel like this and not be able to tell anyone about it, because you are just so terrified of what will happen if you do. You are afraid to lose your friends, you are afraid to vulnerable, but most of all, you are afraid that if you open up, everything becomes real. When it stays in your head, you can push it out and pretend it doesn’t exist. But when you say these things out loud, they become real, and sometimes that’s the scariest thing of all. People will tell you how to ask for help. They will tell you who to ask, when to ask, and a variety of other things that have already run through your head a thousand times. What they don’t understand is how hard it is to take that step, and actually ask for help. The key is to be patient. To try to understand why you feel that you can’t ask certain people in your life. Are you afraid of how they will treat you or are you afraid it will make the problem real? If it is the latter, it makes it that much harder. I know what it’s like to be afraid of your own mind, and it is not something that can easily be fixed.

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